Back yard visitors .......

We have a few visitors who frequently hang out in the back yard. . . they are so cute to watch!

You can tell in the last photo they had enough of me and were running away ...off to the creek!

Easter

So, Easter was nice! At least part of the day.

After church my sisters families were at my parents We were able to see the kids dressed in their new outfits. Little Bit's dress was beautiful!

Although we spent so much time with BT's family last week, we decided to go ahead and have Easter dinner with them. I am not so sure we made the right decision - they broke out into a horribly dysfunctional argument. But, that's a story for another time and place. I like to keep my blog a HAPPY PLACE :-) BT and I do need to come to some kind of agreement. In my opinion, Holidays are to be happy times, creating happy memories. Not so sure that's the place I want to celebrate my holidays.

Easter is probably my favorite holiday! I love everything about it!
It's so many wonderful things. Perhaps I should write about that sometime.

For now - I am off to bed.

Easter Photos of my Kidlets :-)

Easter 2007

Easter was .... COLORFUL this year! :-) First.... a few pics. The first pic is BT's Easter Basket - the second one is a smaller one for BT's wife ;0) and the third is Buffalo's Traditional Easter Butter Lamb.

Taxes or the Broadway Market?

I love my business, but I hate tax time! I don't know why, but it stresses me out every year.

I procastinate . . . then I feel overwhelmed as we approach the April 15th deadline.

Just about everything is ready to go for the business. Tonight, BT and I need to gather our personal information.

Tomorrow morning, we're off to see the Accountant . . . and I dread it. :(
There's so many other things I'd rather be doing.

I'd rather go to Buffalo to the Broadway Market, gathering all the traditional Easter goodies . . . butter lambs, homemade horseradish, polish sausage, chocolates, pastries, etc.

CHECK IT OUT ----> http://broadwaymarket.com/b/news.php

I'd rather be coloring Easter Eggs ....

I'd rather be home, doing things I need to be doing.

I'll be at the accountant's office, instead....

In Memory of Dad

Never to be forgotten ~

May 19, 1947 - March 27, 2007

Chef In The Making...

New photos of Apple Jax doing what he loves doing best!!!

Blog - Block

Ever hear of "writer's-block" ? Well, I believe I have "blog-block" ....
I simply cannot think of much to say. Perhaps there is just too much going on in this little brain of mine. It's been a tough week.

Thursday we spent the afternoon at the hospital with BT's dad. It was sad, very sad.
He's fought so long, and so hard. He's weak, tired and giving up. Refusing all medical treatments, he is now in a Palliative (Hospice) Care room. It was an emotional visit. But a rewarding one, too. Perhaps more on that at a later time.

On a Happier Note:

Yesterday, I spoke to our SW at the adoption agency. It was such a nice conversation, on a very personal level. Nothing about the adoption wait... just a "getting to know you more" conversation. It was nice. . . a nice change. I really do like her, a lot.

I know "liking her" isn't going to bring our baby home any sooner.
But it helps - she's encouraging in her own way. I do thank God for her.

3:30 AM - augh.........

Can't sleep - neither of us can.

Tomorrow will be a LONG day.

BT's Dad

We received the following e-mail from Anne tonight:

Hope this finds you all well. Dad is in the hospital again. He went in Friday with dehydration, and the doctor thought a weekend with fluids would help out immensely, so he admitted your dad. As he became more hydrated, his pain spiraled out of control again. He is on a continuous morphine pump now and has opted to stop all treatment, just to receive comfort care. He is tired and weak and has no fight left. He recieved the Sacrament of Healing and gets daily communion. Our pastor visits daily. He wants you to know he loves you and is proud of the men you have become. If you want to talk to one of us, I have Dad's cell phone with me and am with him most of the time. I'm sorry to have to give you this news, but thought you'd want to know. I love you, too. Take care.
Love, Anne (and Dad)

:-( I hate cancer!!!!

Will up-date more later! Prayers appreciated! (((hugs)))

Psalms 37:4

"Be delighted with the Lord. Then he will give you all your heart's desires." (Psalms 37:4)

Lots of thinking....

I've been thinking, a lot! I want to be sure we make the right choices.

I know it is important (crucial, actually) to remain strong in our faith. We need to believe God has a perfect plan with our current agency! As our social worker said, we may not know it now, but when we receive our little one we will see how God's hand was in this from the very beginning. We will know (without a doubt) God's plan was perfected just for us! She told me she sees it every time a baby is placed in the arms of an adoptive couple.

It sounds like the right thing to do.

I think of Sarai & Abram. They were unable to conceive a child of their own. By letting go of their faith and trying to take matter into their own hands, they created pure havoc. They allowed their impatience to come between them and God by trying to work things out on their own!

And then - I think - are we doing enough? Should we be exploring other options?
Should we be visiting the other agencies - meeting with an adoption attorney?
I do not want to be sorry for waiting so long. We cannot go back and change things -
I want to know I did all I could! :-)

It's a struggle . . . .

It's painful . . . .

I wish I had all the right answers! Or...do I and I don't see it?

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

My thoughts today turn to our wedding ceremony in 2001.
Through tears of joy, Jonathan presented the Irish Wedding Blessing.....

The Irish Wedding Blessing

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon the fields.

May the light of friendship guide your paths together.
May the laughter of children grace the halls of your home.
May the joy of living for one another
trip a smile from your lips, a twinkle from your eye.

And when eternity beckons, at the end of a life heaped high with love,
May the good Lord embrace you with the arms that have nurtured you
the whole length of your joy-filled days.

May the gracious God hold you both in the palm of His hands.
And, today, may the Spirit of Love
find a dwelling place in your hearts.

I love you both!

Always & Forever ...

My Husband Holds The Key To My Heart Forever!!!

Tonight was a "date night" with BT. Just us :) ! We went to Famous Dave's for dinner (by the way, very fun place and great food), then did some browsing at BORDER's. We're home now, it's late, BT is off.

BT - You're wonderful! Thank you for being YOU! Thank you for holding me when I need to feel your strength and for giving me space when I need it to just be me. This has been a rough road, I am so glad you've been there to travel it with me. Let's not stop dreaming - and remember to dream big! :) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! How did I get so lucky?

Just wanted to add -

I placed a call to an adoption attorney who came "highly recommended" ... Just waiting for him to call me back! All I wanted to do was set up a consultation...but when his assistant asked me who recommended us to him (and when I told her), she said she was gonna have him call us directly. Hmmm....I wonder!

AND ...we're going to a informational meeting at a different agency on Sunday. Just exploring our options. . . that's all.

Adoption Up-Date

I spoke to our SW this morning. It's been a while (2-3 mths) since our profile has actually been "shown" to a prospective birthmother.

She explained to me we are couple # 8 on the "general" list. Which means, there are 8 profiles that may be shown before ours. The reason we were shown in the past was because we are couple #2 on the "christian couples" list and those particular bmothers wanted evangelical Christian couples.

So, I do know we are not being shown at the moment and we are not matched. :-(
The agency has placed 2 babies, so far, in 2007.

The triplets were born in Sept. (3 mths early) and placed with a couple in the same town as the agency and the bmother. They have special needs, but are doing ok. Adoptive parents are doing great!

The bmother who wanted a completely open adoption chose another couple. She has yet to deliver.

Our profile was submitted in Dec. 2004. 27 mths later, we aren't chosen .... 8 couples remain ahead of us.

I am feeling extremely discouraged. I've done very well to be strong, up until recently.
I am not exactly sure where to turn at this point. Do I go on believing our agency is going to place with us? Or, should we begin exploring other avenues?

Our SW suggested BT and I explore our own hearts, and pray about it. She was very encouraging. I believe her when she says God has a hand in it and will bless us in his perfect timing. . . . I REALLY, REALLY DO! In the meantime, it just hurts............ any suggestions?

Up-Date on MEGAN -
Megan is the local gal who had contacted us back in Nov/Dec. She is expecting a boy in April and has decided to parent.

By God's Grace

God's Grace - It is His grace that gives me patience to endure the long wait for our baby.

Thoughts of giving up stir my brain more and more each day. I think of letting go of the anticipation, allowing myself to feel normal, to live in today and not worry about what tomorrow may or may not bring. Would I feel less stressed, anxious and overwhelmed? Perhaps!

I'd be giving up on my dreams. That is just wrong! God didn't bless me with a desire to have children, only to have that snatched away.

And so, I continue to ask God to share His grace with me. Allow me to be patient until He reveals His plan.

God grant me the courage to remain steadfast and strong.

BT and I went bowling tonight. Interesting! Pathetic! Goofy!

But, we had fun, we had "just us" time! It beats sitting home in front of the tv or on the computer. Plus, it was a bargain - games after 9 pm are only $1.50. We snuck a few treats in our coats, took our own shoes and played for cheap! ha!

So, even though we didn't walk tonight - we did get some exercise.

Work was busy today - but it was a good busy. I felt like I had actually accomomplished a lot, with very few interuptions. I did get a few nasty calls from people who need to pay their bill.

It's amazing how when people owe money they turn it around and make you look like the bad guy. That's right, let's put the blame on the child care center who takes care of my children so I can go out and work! Augh!

Tomorrow afternoon I have a meeting with the Superintendent of Schools to discuss building security! I am really excited and anxious to hear what his plans are.

Thinking of Anita.....

3 years ago - March 13, 2004 - I faced one of the most difficult losses of my entire life. I lost a very dear friend, an excellent co-worker, our Toddler teacher, Ms Anita.

3 pm that afternoon, Anita came to my office to say goodnight & have a great weekend. 5 pm that same afternoon we spoke on the phone. 8 pm that evening, her family found her on the floor. Anita suffered a brain aneurysm at the age of 49. I received a phone call, very early the next morning. Sarah, Julie and I rushed up to the hospital. We were able to see her, but she was clinically brain dead - being kept alive because she was an organ donor.
I will never forget it - I held her hand and whispered "good-bye".

Anita was my "right-arm" at work. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her - see her smile - hear her laughter. She was one of the best friends a person could ever ask for... and I was blessed to have her for 16 years!

I miss her terribly ......:-(

Colossians 3:23

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

When tucked away in a wee small corner of your heart - this verse can do wonders to make a difference in a day! :-)

I gave 100% today!

So, I did well today. BT and I walked around the BIG block tonight. I didn't want to go, but my DH persuaded me and I am glad he did.
It was a COLD, brisk walk - it felt good, even if our ears were numb! Did better with water today - and even worked on some stretches with BT!







It's Sunday night - 11:30 pm, but seems like 10:30 pm since we changed the clocks last night. I am not tired ....will need to read help wind down.

My Aunt Carolyn is heavy on my mind today. Her parents are both deceased. She has 2 living brothers, both of whom are on the edge of death. They live in 3 separate states, she has been stretching herself thin trying to see both of them before they pass. I can't wrap my brain around the thought of losing my only living siblings so close together and so tragically.

Aunt Margaret & Uncle Jim were in a car accident on their way to church this morning. He is ok, she has bruised ribs. They had gone to pick up a young boy for church and apparently ran out in front of another car while making a turn onto a main road. THANK GOD everyone is OK.

That's my news for today - besides having a horrible dream this morning. I dreamnt I was in a car with my Aunt. She was behind the wheel, backing the car up... I looked out the rear window and could see she was approaching a cliff. She did not stop in time. We road off the cliff in reverse - the drop was several hundred feet into a body of water. I remember thinking, so this is how I am going to die as I was touching all the windows of the car, trying to escape. Such a tragic dream....... :(

I'd like to vent, but I won't! ;)

I am surprised I didn't post last night - 'cuz I sure needed the "vent"! Things did not go well at work today. I made the decision not to hire the new person. I'd love to gripe and complain, but being that this is a public blog - I'll behave myself.

After a very easy dinner (thanks to slow cooker pulled pork, baked sweet potato fries and green beans) BT and I headed out to run errands and get some movement! We went to BJ's for supplies for day care... and a quick trip to Wal-mart for ant traps! It's a sure sign Spring is coming, the ants are out to play! Augh.

I bought this huge roll of butcher paper - it's about 2 foot wide. I thought it would be fantastic for the children to use at the day care! There's so much you can do with a nice BIG piece of paper!!

So late last night, once BT was off to work, I worked on organizing paperwork - getting things ready to for meeting with the tax lady. It's amazing (and sad) to see how much we pay out in bills per year.

As I was falling asleep last night - I had decided I was going to call the adoption agency and tell them we need to know more information regarding our status. When I got up this morning, I decided to wait. . it's about time I should hear something from her (the pattern seems to be about every 2 months).

Back to work -


Did I mention the sun is shining again today?????

Perhaps a Mother-to-Be's Intuition?

So BT and I are out to dinner. We're sitting there enjoying soup & salad when a very strong feeling came over me. I felt someone was missing, right there at our table. It seemed unnatural to be just the two of us. I thought about it for a moment and another strong feeling came over me - it was a baby that was missing. A baby that should be right there with us, enjoying the restaurant, the walk through the mall, the memories we were making. It was very strong - perhaps a mother-to-be's intuition? I am not sure. All I know is it didn't seem right - our family is not complete. I am hoping this was a sign that we'll be bringing our baby home soon. I love BT with all my heart, BT loves me with all of his - we so want to share all that heaped of love with our child! We're ready ........ so ready.

You Go Girl ..............

It feels great! Not only did I start my stretching routine this morning - we went for our walk at the mall and spontaneously decided to go bowling at Dave & Busters. It was a great time! I am sooo tired and imagine I'll be pretty sore tomorrow. It was just 2 days ago I was at the chiropractor with my back totally spazzing out. So I met most of my goals today. In the water department - I completely failed. Better luck tomorrow. It feels great to be active again and out of the "slump".

The Sun Is Shining :-)

I must add - THE SUN IS SHINING TODAY!

One of the gals from TT is a new adoptive mommy to a beautiful baby girl. Allie if you're reading this CONGRATULATIONS. Your daughter is gorgeous. I am over the top excited for you - you deserve this baby so much. And, of course, I am selfishly very, very jealous! ;)

So, I started a stretching routine this morning. Gosh, I am out of shape! ;)
I'm headed in the right direction though. I already can't wait to go walking tonight. Water, water, water, I need to remind myself to drink plenty of water! Augh, I hate it!

I better get back to work - I am surrounded by paperwork. There are bills to pay, statements to send, vouchers to complete, schedules to do, monthly inspections to complete, etc.. etc.. etc.. The good news is - NOONE CALLED IN SICK TODAY.

Waiting: To remain or stay in expectation of; await: wait one's turn.

Waiting stinks, I am very discouraged.

'nuff said.



My back was much better today - but I can tell it will be a while before it will be all better!

The phone woke me up at 6:30 AM - employee sick call. The phone rang again at 8:30 AM, another employee sick call. The schedule had to be revamped for the entire day.
When I get to work, I discover I left my Jump Drive at home, so what I could do at work was very limited.
Came home early - took care of a few more work related items before going out with BT.
We went to the mall, bought a few birthday gifts, walked (it was officially too cold to walk outdoors) and ended the trip with soup & salad from Ruby Tuesday's. Then home - it's trash night. BT cut his finger on a broken piece of glass ( I dropped and busted my slow cooker into a trillion pieces yesterday). It wasn't bad - not much blood at all. But, to him his night was ruined with all the "gushing blood". Men!

Oh, we interviewed and "try-out" a new applicant today. She seems very nice, eager, enthusiastic -
and she's a "mom" herself, which is sometimes the best experience. We're on a mission - hiring!
It has become too stressful for me to rework the schedule day in and day out because someone calls in or requests time off. Although this may cause some to lose hours - it has to be done. Requests for time off are out of control! Now that felt great to get that off my chest!

It's tough being "the boss"......................

Water, Exercise, Meditation & Music

So I've set some goals for the next 28 days.

1. To exercise at least 10 minutes a day.
2. To drink 64 oz. of water each day.
3. To read my devotionals each day.

Sas has volunteered to be my accoutability partner, which is wonderful.

Sometime soon we will have a new little life in our home. I need to have energy - I need to feel better. I am on my way to a better ME. :-)

So, what does my wonderful husband do for me today? He bought me a teeny-tiny MP3 player.

I am psyched.

Shopping ....

So we shopped today. First round, SAM'S CLUB! We had 3 carts FULL- two carts of day care stuff - and a cart for my parents. It's alway fun spending someone else's money! ;) Second round - PARTY CITY and FACTORY CARD & PARTY OUTLET. I didn't think finding Sweet 16 party ware would be so hard. I found lots of stuff for Angela's baby shower - but not a darn thing for Dawson's Sweet 16 party! Who would of thought that would be hard to find? Third round, (we're hungry now) DiBella's Subs .... very good!!!

BT went back to work - after a very long weekend (he used 3 vacation days). I feel bad we didn't get away, at least for a day. But on the flipside, we're taking a few days off in March - and I am determined to to a get-a-way! We've both been feeling so "snowbound".

So that was my Sunday -

I have a pile of paperwork sitting to the right of the keyboard, waiting for me to organize! I best get at it.

But first, just a thought...... perhaps this week we'll hear something from the adoption agency - how nice an "up-date" would be.....

I Truly Am A Blessed Woman....

I recently caught a portion of a program on "The Secret" ... and the little bit I heard was rather encouraging! Then, I read a post on a friend's blog - that really made me think. Deanna has the right idea and I need to jump on board with it. There should be no room for negativity in our lives! As hard as it may be, I also need to focus my energy on the positive things in life. I may not be where I want to be right now - but the only way to get there is to release the negative energies - and move on. Like my sis once said "the buck stops here".
I can't help but think if I can get my focus where it needs to be - I may have better days, with less headaches and stress. I truly believe stress can impact your health in a negative way.

Negative thoughts I need to do away with include:

Our house is too small.
I can't get pregnant.
The agency doesn't call.
My work is too stressful.
I hate BT's hours.
We don't make enough money.
I am sick of headaches.

Positive thoughts shall include:

We're blessed with a comfy, cozy home - perfect for a family of 3 (or 4) - and a decent mortgage.
God has a special calling for us - we're adopting!
God is taking His time to bring us a special baby designed perfectly for us!
I'm blessed with my own business, doing just what I love doing!
Brian has a great job - Let's just keep praying for a promotion for better hours!
Life is good- we both have our health.

WOW - just looking back at what I wrote does my heart and soul some good.

Thanks Deanna! ((((hug)))

Ok, so ...... it's Saturday and I had great intentions to clean the whole house. I did clean - but I only managed to do the 3 bedrooms, kitchen, living room and dining room. I fought a migraine most of the day and took 2 naps. Oh, most of the laundry is done, too! Yipee!

BT is in Toronto, CA for the day. He went with Joe and the girls - to the Ontario Science Center. I am so glad he went and enjoyed his day off. He would not of been very happy hanging out with me and my headache. I'm really looking forward to hearing about the day - and hoping they took a lot of pics! I can only imagine how happy the girls had to be to have a day out with their dad and Uncle Bri.

This was a stressful week at work. I won't go into too many details -- for privacy reasons. But, we're aware of some staff issues that need to be dealt with. I don't understand - the other Director and myself are always kind, considerate, friendly, helpful, upbeat, etc... personally, I think we set a fine example. And yet, some of our staff are sooooo.....gloomy. Often I have to stop myself from making a comment such as "Try smiling, it won't crack your face"! When I went into business many years ago - people weren't that way. As we approach new generations, things really change. Anyhow, that's a lot of my stress. The good news is, we're aware of it and making changes for the better. I am confident it's nothing we do. The proof is in the number of employees who leave to go elsewhere and before I know it they are knocking on my door, ready to come back! That says something for us, right?

I am feeling the need to shop! But, we haven't been spending money..... perhaps my "feeling" will soon pass. Why is it shopping does the soul so much good?

We are His Sheep and He is Our Shepherd

We are His sheep and He is our Shepherd

You were on His heart. When He left His home in Heaven, He saw you; when He became a man on earth, He was seeking you; when He stretched out His hands upon the cross, He was reaching out to you; when He returned to His Father, He was preparing a place for you. You are the sheep He has come to shepherd, to guide, to feed, to protect, to shelter, and to carry you. You are the one He calls his own.

- Roy Lessin

Sweet 16

So today turned out to be a great day! I found out Sas & Jaxon are coming to spend 4 days with us next week. We're going to just "hang out" .... and throw a surprise SWEET 16 Y birthday party for our niece, Dawson. Hmmmm, got to start thinking of decorating and food ideas. I wanna get her a really sweet cake - lots of pink and flowers!!!

.

My Best Cousin, Lisa called today! It's official - we're planning a 65th Birthday Party for the twins - August the 4th - in Kentucky! Her dad, and my mom are twins! It will be wonderful to see all the family again! :-)

.

It's been 4 weeks since I've heard from the adoption agency! For some reason, today, I kept thinking we were going to hear from them. . even if to ask us a simple question.

.

BT went to the funeral home tonight to pay his respects to a co-worker who passed away suddenly. I believe he said he was only 45 yrs old, leaving a wife and children. Soooo sad.

When he got back - we treated ourselves to RUBY TUESDAY'S - the broccoli/cheese soup was awesome!!!

.

I felt better today - no abdominal pain!!! :-) That's a great thing!! That makes for a great day!!!

Chocolate Panda Paws Ice Cream

Ok - so I discovered the sure fix for PMS! :-) Thought I'd share my discovery with all the women out there!

(((((hug)))))

The Weekend .....

I finally figured out how to add music to my blog. The song I have chosen is "BLESSED" by Elton John. I am sure anyone who knows me, will know why this song is so near and dear to my heart! Y

The weekend is over! Time for a blog up-date.

I spoke to my friend - the friend who introduced me to "M", the gal who is considering placing her unborn child for adoption. She called 10 days ago and never called back. The message she left sounded very much like she had decided to make an adoption plan and place the baby in our arms. My friend was surprised to hear she had called. She told me "M" had recently accepted a hand-me-down crib - and there's even talk of a baby shower. My heart aches for her. I can not imagine making the decision she is going to have to make. I promised myself I would not get involved emotionally. I left her a message last week, so she knows she can call me. . . and I let go! We are not prepared to set ourselves up for something that could be another let down. And so, the "wait" goes on.......

The results of my endoscopy are in - everything was negative. Next step- upper GI. I am thrilled all the tests I've had so far (x-rays, ultrasounds, scans, etc) have all come back negative. But, how do I explain the pain that effects me daily? It is effecting my home life, my marriage, my job, every part of me.

BT, McKenna and I went to Niagara Falls Outlet Mall on Saturday! She was so good - and such a joy to have around. I bought .... nothing! McKenna cashed in her allowance at CLAIRES, girlie stuff! That was the highlight of my weekend.

Sadly - I was feeling horrible most of the weekend and just not up to much..... I can't wait to get better.

You'll Be Blessed - We Promise You That! :-)

Blessed
Music by Elton

Hey you, you're a child in my head

You haven't walked yet

Your first words have yet to be said

But I swear you'll be blessed

I know you're still just a dream

your eyes might be green

Or the bluest that I've ever seen

Anyway you'll be blessed

And you, you'll be blessed

You'll have the best

I promise you that

I'll pick a star from the sky

Pull your name from a hat

I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that

You'll be blessed

I need you before I'm too old

To have and to hold

To walk with you and watch you grow

And know that you're blessed

Tea Time

Can't wait to brew some tea tonight! :-) Thank you, Judy (((hug))))

The Story of the Tea Cup! There was a couple who used to go England to shop in a beautiful antique store. This trip was to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups.Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked, "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."As the lady handed it to them, the tea cup spoke."You don't understand," it said, "I have not always been a tea cup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone,' but he only smiled,and gently said, 'Not yet!'"Then. WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting so dizzy! I'm going to be sick!', I screamed But the master only nodded and said, quietly, 'Not yet.'"He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suit himself and then....then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. 'Help! Get me out of here!' I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet.'"When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'Oh, that felt so good! Ah, this is much better,' I thought.But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please; stop it, stop it!!' I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'"Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up."Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering, What's he going to do to me next? An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.' And I did. "I said, ' That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful I'm beautiful!'"Quietly he spoke: 'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled.I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you.'"God knows what He's doing in each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us, and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will. So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this:Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down, and have a little talk with the Potter.

Time for a little exercise . .

Exercise is what I need to be doing. Why is it so easy to NOT do the things we need to do to keep our bodies healthy? Perhaps this cute little picture will help me remember, to get up and MOVE! :-)

It's time to begin my day - Have a good one! :-)

Happy Belated Valentine's Day, BT! :-)

BT bought me the sweetest Valentine.

It read:

Happy Valentine's Day to My Wife.....

Your love,

your faith in me,

your gentle understanding,

all make me realize how lucky I am

God brought you into my life ... I love you!

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" Proverbs 18:22

Thank you, BT, for always pulling through - you're the best. And, I love you, too!

PS Don't ever give up, for we both know the best is yet to come. . . .

S T R E S S E D

This little picture is so me! STRESSED describes me so perfectly lately.

My job is stressing me out. I need to hire someone part time to assist me with paperwork, light office work, answering the phone and tending to visitors. But, I need to be able to trust this person wholeheartedly - with the business and the children! How do you hire a complete stranger for a delicate position such as this? I lucked out both times before by hiring from within. At this time, this is not an option. I keep praying God will open the doors.

The adoption is stressing me out! We've been waiting too long. Opportunities come along, tease us a bit and move on. I don't understand - probably never will. I just want to bring my babies home!

I must stop this post! Since I started typing it I ate about 10 hershey kisses! Augh.......

Well, they do say STRESSED spelled backwords = DESSERTS! ;)

Take a peek ....

We've collected quite a few baby socks throughout the wait ....

Gosh, I hope we can fill them soon!

3 Years and 4 Months

3 years and 4 mths .... since we attended the first information meeting at our adoption agency.

Some days I wish I knew more, more of what is actually happening with our profile. Have we been chosen? Perhaps chosen several times, and for whatever reason, plans changed? Perhaps we were never chosen? There were hints we'd been possibly chosen before, at least a birthmom showed an "interest".

A friend of mine has a friend whose 19 year old daughter is expecting a baby in April. She is considering making an adoption plan for the baby. She wants the baby to have a good life. I admire her for being able to look beyond her own self and love the baby enough to want what's best. She seems like a great girl - really sweet.

If she places, she'd like BT and I to adopt the baby. :o)

I should be really excited about this possibility - and I am. But, I feel sad for this young lady. My heart goes out to her. If she places with us, I hope we can maintain a good relationship. I have a good feeling we can. . . . . .

Miss Piggy, You're My Hero! ;)

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

Look Da Da, A Leaf .....

Look Da Da a Leaf! This photo was taken of Jaxon and his mom a few months ago. It remains a favorite of mine! Sweet Jaxon - the baby of the family!! I miss him .......... I think it's time for a road trip!

He's beginning to use more words - his favorite being "BOB!" - he has discovered Bob the Builder and LOVES him!

Baby It's Cold Outside...

OK, so this is what it's like to live in Alaska! Temperatures as low as zero - with the weatherman saying "it feels like -15 degrees" ... more snow than we could possibly need - still coming down.
My nephew took some photos of their yard - I'll post a few .....




Schools were closed on Monday - not today - I have a suspicion they will close tomorrow. . .

Besides all the weather related surprises, life has been rather uneventful.
I had an endoscopy done on Monday - went much better than I had expected.
I should have the results within 2 weeks.

Today was Gail's birthday! I bought her the traditional chocolate cake, buttercream icing with extra flowers and filling from Wegmans .... and gift certificates for TH's ! She ended up with over $40 in gift certificates for TH's!

Time for some much needed sleep! This has got to be my most boring post ever! ha!

Good-night!

7 months?

Could it have been 7 months since I posted on this blog? How can time slip away so quickly?

We're still...... w a i t i n g to bring our baby home. The wait is hard - very hard. Some days we feel very much alone. We know the people around us, the people we love and share our time with, simply do not understand. But, of course, it wouldn't be fair to expect them too.

It's hard. Not too many people ask us about it anymore. And, when I bring it up, it's like the person I am speaking to doesn't know what to say. I don't get it? As important as it is to both of us, why do the people closest to us tend to shy away from the subject. I want to say, IT'S REAL PEOPLE, IT'S GONNA HAPPEN, HELLO ! ! ! ! And, so we wait - sharing our feelings only with eachother. There remains a special place in our hearts for the little one we know we'll be bringing home.

So today is my birthday! It didn't seem that way - but the calendar told me it was! ;) I just don't want to be 42! LOLThe gals are work were great. Yesterday, I had lunch with Sarah & Julie - Sarah made a batch of homemade blonde brownies that were to die for! It was great to see her. Of all my friends, Sarah always has been the one who at least tries to understands. I know that, because I feel she is the one I'll want to call right away!

Today - Gail bought me a beautiful ice cream cake from Dairy Queen! The remaining staff pitched in and bought me flowers - very, very pretty... and a sun catcher.My Dh took me to Smokey Bones for dinner. On the way home we bought some Hostess Ho Ho's for dessert! LOL Although he already bought me my Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer he surprised me with PHOTO SHOP tonight! I couldn't believe it. I am soooooooo excited.

I also received some priceless cards in the mail today - Tracey, Holly, Bonnie and Marian - they are the greatest! If you gals should ever stumble on my blog - YOU ROCK!

I am sure we'll celebrate with family this weekend.

Mom is in the hospital. She's been there since Friday. They lanced the infection Saturday morning, within no time she felt so much better. There's no telling just how long she's been living with the infection in her body. She has test today - an upper GI and a colinoscopy - we're awaiting those results. She's doing ok - seems to be ok with the hospital and her care. I'm sure her spirits with be up even more if my brother would take a moment out of his day to call her. He hasn't checked on her since last weeks. I've left messages with his wife and sent him e-mails. Some people are so self-absored. Sorry! Don't mean to down my brother - but it's a fact.

Work - Work is busy! We recently renewed our Day Care license. We passed! :-) We're good now for another 2 years. Although things are busy at the day care - we need to boost attendance. So, we're all working together to do just that! Summer Camp and Fall Pre-K plans are already underway! It's 11 pm - and I feel like I've written a book. Time to call it a night.

Good-Night