Sorry I've been MIA

It was a very long week because I Feel Sick!

I tried to let it "run it's course" but by Thursday morning, I had enough and felt horrible.


I called the doctor, hoping this time she'd call me in a prescription. Nope! But she did say "come right in".

"Wow!", she says, "You came in just in time"! Just in time for what, pray tell?

"Sinus Infection"

"Right Ear Infection"

"Bronchitis"

ALL THREE.

* sigh *

Hey Girl! What's going on?

I received an email from a friend today. It said "Hey Girl! What's going on?" I wasn't surprised as we haven't had a chance to talk in a while. I thought, "Yeah, what is going on?" Once I starting thinking I realized there is much more going on than I thought. Just thinking about it exhausts me.

Work is .... busy. Not that we have an overabundance of children. But the families we have keep us hopping! I am working steadily to prepare for our upcoming license renewal. All paperwork must be in by Dec. 02. In preparation, I realized just how much had piled up since I needed to be away so often for my Father's sake. So, I take a few evenings a week to work in the office, organizing mostly. In addition, we took the summer off of training, so we're busy planning and taking classes.

Speaking of Dad. He continues to have good and bad days. His good days are usually REALLY good and is bad days are usually REALLY bad. My most recent meeting with the house doctor didn't go so well. "Your Dad is a very, very sick man with many complications. I wish I could tell you exactly what is wrong, but I do not know. There are just so many issues and it appears his body is breaking down. We can do all we can to keep him comfortable . . . blah, blah, blah". He told me Dad was non-responsive and refusing food and fluid. That was on a Wed. On Saturday, we sat in his room while he enjoyed a W.ENDY's F.ROSTY. He was so chatty, it was as if we were sitting in his living room at home conversing. There was no confusion and he asked alot of sensible questions. It just doesn't make sense.... no sense at all.

At home I am working hard to gets things done while we still have a little nice weather.
The pool is closed and the yard is cleaned up for winter. Inside, I am trying to clear out and organize. We have a painter lined up to come in and continue painting where we left off when Dad took ill. We're also getting estimates for attic insulation. It's a must this year.
Once all that is done, I'll have the carpet cleaners come in. Thankfully, if I stay on schedule, I can get it all done before the holidays.

We have family coming in from Indiana tomorrow. My mom's sister and her husband are coming to spend 2 weeks. It is going to be so awesome, for Mom especially. All our extended family live out of town so it's rather exciting when some visit. Vincent, my nephew, is also coming home from college (P.urdue).

BT and I are doing great. He and his brother recently took a road trip to B.altimore for a O.rioles game. They loved it, naturally. He went to T.rader J.oes and brought back some fun stuff.

BT's working a lot of crazy hours. This week has been especially busy with his TV station and the T.ime W.arner negotiations. For those of you who reside in the B.uffalo area, you know what I am talking about.

We'll be celebrating our 7th Anniversary this month! Not sure how we're celebrating; but I am sure we'll find something fun to do.

At the end of the month we're planning to go to the S.teven C.urtis C.hapman and M.ichael W. S.mith "U.nited" concert. It's only an hour drive to the auditorium where they are performing. . and just a skip across town his Mom's. I am very excited!

I had my first ever visit with my new (and wonderful!) endocrinologist. I told my primary care doctor I was looking for an endo who actually sees his patients and takes the time to listen. She sent me in the right direction! He, alone, gave me a good 30 minutes (perhaps more) of his time. No nurses, no PA's .... just good old doctor's care. I dig it! ;) I feel like I am in good hands and hope the changes he is making will work out for me.

No news to share regarding the adoption. One day at a time... right?
Just knowing we're being shown and so close is enough comfort to keep me going and give me hope. God is good. Soon, everyone...soon! :-)

Wow.. that was a mouthful. I need to return to my never ending cleaning spree!

So tell me, "What is going on with you?"
Hoping to get some interesting replies.

The Perfect Evening At Home

BT is home... ALL Evening.

Grey's Anatomy Season Premiere is 2 hours.

Dinner consists of Green Mountain Gringo Chips,
Flat Lime Salsa,
Trader Joe's Chicken Enchiladas,
a dallop of sour cream
and a can of Diet Cherry Pepsi.

Dinner on the coffee table so we can relax on the couch and watch Grey's and the News.

All followed by a very quiet, midnight stroll throughout the neighborhood.

Time to sleep! And ...tomorrow we shall return to responsible living ;) .

P.S. Did I mention I had a NUTRITION class tonight from 6:30 pm - 8:30 pm? I highly doubt the instructor would had approved of our late night dinner. ;)

Today. . . .

I heard from our agency. She called to tell us they have been unable to contact the bmom they planned to share our profile with. Her phone is disconnected ... she is not contacting them.
Not sure what to think other than ... we're "waiting" again. :(

I was late for work because I felt sooo lousy. I finally took prescription Naproxen and a double dose of Claritin and went to work. I was loopy, but accomplished quiet a bit considering.

I found the top of my desk! It was amazing!!!! I've been working hard to get organized and today I could actually see the top of my desk. It looks so tidy!

All was well as the end of the day was nearing. "If all the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops, Oh, what a rain that would be!" was playing above the sound of laughter coming from the Toddler Room. Through the sounds I hear "Miss Patti!!!!" and could tell the voice was shaken and clearing in trouble. I flew down the hall to find the other Director as pale as a paper plate and waving her hands in distress. CAN YOU SPEAK ?? She shook her head NO. Great, she's choking, right here with little eyes watching. I remained rather calm, in control and was able to help her with just 2 light abdominal thrusts. Thank God! The children were priceless, very concerned and sweet. They just wanted to know Miss G was okay!

Oh! The cutest thing happened. I was walking toward the ladies room. To do this, you have to walk past the children's restroom. From outside the restroom, I hear "Jesus Loves Me This I Know, For the Bible Tells Me So" .... and then I hear the teachers say, "That's a very nice song, Arianna". Oh the small joys of being a Day Care Director. Could there possibly be any other job this rewarding?

I am going to cut this short because - BT IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He left early, early yesterday morning for Baltimore. As a birthday gift to his brother, they went to the Baltimore/Tampa baseball game. I know I should of enjoyed the break. BUT, I missed him, really. I know, we're pathetic. ;)

Good-Night!

Taking The Road Less Traveled...

I found this posted on Sara's Blog

"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "Adopt and you'll get pregnant." Of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

"These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and me to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."

BT and I have faced infertility straight on since we married in 2001. We have definitely grown closer, loved deeper and become much stronger. We've continually lifted each other up when the other seems weak. We've found a deeper love and compassion for the Lord. We are still reminded of the big questions "why couldn't we have children? what was God thinking?...etc.." We may never know for sure. But we do know God has a plan for all He does. Yes, we're traveling a road less traveled. But God is true to His promises. So as we travel we know we will be blessed along the way in ways we could never imagine. Yes, when that baby is placed in our arms I will know without a doubt God knows what is best. Lord, I thank you for this journey you have chosen especially for me and BT.

It's official, I am sick....

It's official, I am sick. I've been feeling rather run down, but with all going on I was not surprised. Now my ears ache, throat is swollen and sore and my chest is tight. Whatever made me think I was going to slip through without getting it? It's been floating around the day care.
No wonder I fell asleep 3 times today!

I need tea. . . . .

We Will Be OK....

Just yesterday, we were called to the nursing home. Dad's doctor wanted to speak to us. I took the afternoon off and headed in to listen as the doctor gave us the news. "Your Dad is very, very sick, there is no quality of life. He is seriously anemic and non-responsive. He is refusing food and drink. We can take him to the hospital for a transfusion, run tests to find out why he's anemic, but really we won't be gaining anything. Or we can keep him here where he is comfortable until he passes. As a family I need you to think about these things. In the meantime, I have started antibiotics".

When I arrived at the nursing home today - my Dad was sitting up in bed, watching TV. He was totally communicating with us. He even asked BT for a Frosty and he ate the whole darn thing! His color was back - nice and rosey. Fever was normal. He went to therapy twice! Now, I am not saying he was healed, but he was so much better than the day before.

I really don't know what to think of all this. We leave it all in God's hands.. taking each day as it comes and appreciating each moment we have with him. Thank you all so much for caring enough about me to remember my Dad in your prayers. God is so good, His promises are sweet. We will be ok.

Me & My Dad ....

I am doing great - taking steps (literally) each day to become a healthier me! I have officially completed a month of walking at least 6 nights a week. And...it feels fantastic! It does wonders for the heart and the soul. The weather has been fully cooperative..... Cool, clear and crisp on most nights. I walk later, so it's rather calm and peaceful. I will miss the outdoors greatly when old man winter hits, but that problem will be solved by our new (to us) treadmill! And, of course, I can walk at the mall anytime, it's so nice and close.

My Dad, on the other hand, is not doing so well. I know we need to accept his quality of life is rather poor, and really there isn't much else they can do for him. But, it's hard.... our hearts want him to get better. He's only 73! To me, that's too young for anyone to suffer the way he's suffering. So why can't they find what's wrong and fix it? Why is everything so unpredictable? Why can't they give us answers? And why is my family enduring such heartache? We've been riding an emotional roller coaster for 8 months. Really, with no good answers. I am frustrated ... he's had a bad couple of days and my heart breaks to see him and not be able to do SOMETHING to make him feel better. I want to fall apart when I see him sobbing. My father who never cried in front of his children - is now helpless and flowing with tears. I know I need to keep the faith. I know it is all a part of God's plan. I know when he leaves us, he will be free from pain and suffering. But still . . it really hurts.

It really is different when it's one of your "parents". It's a loss all of it's own. There will be times I will want to turn to him for answers to questions or share something that happened at work that day. I know I will miss him when our forever baby finally comes home! I will be able to tell my child about "Poppy" but it won't be the same as the experiences the other grandchildren have had, the memories they'll always keep deep in their hearts. I will never forget his anticipation as we would speak of possible situations, or the tears he cried when a situation did not work out in our favor. How easy it would be to become angry and bitter but I know God will give me the grace I need and memories to cherish forever.

Oh, I just wanted to add that we have not heard back regarding the situation from last week. I may call our SW tomorrow to see if there are any developments.

New Look & Lurkers

I gave my blog a "new do" tonight. It was simpler than I thought - and I really like it. What do you think, my blogger friends?

I see my blog has guests from all over! I'd love to know who you are - where your from - etc. .
Please, come out of lurking and post a comment!

40 Tips for a Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. while you walk, smile.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more and read more books.

7. Make time to practice meditation.
They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants;
eat less food that is manufactured.

11. Drink green tea; plenty of water.
Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds and walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your home, car, desk; let new energy into your life.

14. Don't waste precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts
or things you cannot control. Invest energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like
algebra class;lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid
with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'.
You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business; and shouldn't matter.

28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!)

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World andyou certainly don't
want a fast pass. You only have oneride through life so make the most of it.

40. Pray everyday! God is right there waiting to share life with you!

Prayer Appreciated

I spoke to our worker today. Our profile is being shown, along with 4 others.

It's a "unique situation". She wanted to be sure we were ok with it.

Prayer appreciated. :-)

Remembering 9/11/01

A fun night....

BT and I had a "date" night tonight. We went into the city for souvlaki - it was yummy and gave us a change of scenery. There's something about going downtown that's just FUN and ROMANTIC!

Just how many cups of FREE coffee can you collect in one day? Well, we have a card from D unkin' D onut for FREE medium coffee on Wednesday. OK, I was in a good mood and just wanted to have fun, so whenever we saw a D unkin' we stopped, by the end of the day we had collected 7 cups of coffee at no charge! It sounds like alot, but with 3 of us (we brought 2 back to Mom) it went fast.

Then we went to the Mall to walk. I hadn't been to the Mall in a long time.
They've added on soooo much.

It's really beginning to feel like Fall and I am lovin' it! Hoping to make it to the nursery this weekend for some pretty mums!

When I was walking earlier, I received a text message....A family friend gave birth to a 7 lb, 6 oz. baby girl today. Hoping to have pictures soon! I am soooo happy for her.

Although I walked tonight- I feel like a little more! I really missed walking outdoors. The air is cool and crisp.. I think I'll go enjoy a tad more. Before we know it, the snow will fall.

Walking ...

It's been about 3 weeks since I started walking again! Although my jaunts are short -averaging 20 minutes per day - I feel so much better. I am being extra cautious not to overdo it (due to my back problem) but I will slowly build up to 30 - 40 minutes a day.

I go for blood work in one week. It will be rather interesting to see the "hopefully" positive effects on my blood sugar.

Anyhow, the purpose of this post was to announce I have a treadmill now! I don't need it now, as I really enjoy walking outdoors, but come winter, it's going work out fantastic. Now, I am thinking a small tv - one of those super flat ones you can mount on the wall! I'll be all set!

Creative Abilities of a Preschooler

My friend sent these photos to me as a picture message on my cell phone. Since I have yet to become a Mom, I learn all the "tricks" through my friend's children, children in my day care and my own nieces and nephews. Apparently, this is what 3 year olds do during afternoon nap! Now..that's creative, in my opinion!

Up-Date on Baby Girl

I heard from our mutual friend again....apparently there is a "cousin" interested in adopting the baby I spoke of last week and they are trying to work out the details. From what I understand, the adoptive couple desires a completely closed adoption and the grandmother wants to be very active in the babies life. I hope they are able to make an agreement that works well for both, most defintely what is best for this little baby girl. My heart aches for the baby and I am praying for her . She needs to be placed in the arms of her forever Mommy and Daddy.

I also spoke to our agency this week. Our worker was very upbeat when I spoke to her- although she can't say much, she hinted a lot was going on. It felt good - felt right.

I believe God used this past week to show me I truly have not given up - my hearts yearns to bring our forever baby home as much now as ever, perhaps even a little more. And, God is faithful -

The past few years have been very difficult for us. We've faced many, many challenges with our families. As I look back at the "big picture" I can see how God has worked in our lives and He does know what is best. I look forward with anticipation and His plan is revealed.

It's been a few days...

Just thinking, it wasn't meant to be.... again.

How many losses must we face to bring our baby home?

It's just not making sense.

Perhaps I need to sleep.

Keeping The Faith ... And Praying!

V EXCITING NEWS!!!!!!!


Although I could not decide if I should post this, I've decided there's really no harm in telling the story, so here goes.

Over the weekend, I announce to BT I need to give up on the adoption. The wait is just too hard and and is effecting me emotionally & physically. I suggested we start thinking of other interests, things to do with our lives. Please know my heart is breaking as I am telling him. But, I just wanted the ache to go away.

Then a few days later, I tell him I'd like to have a Puppy! I want something small, loveable and one that doesn't shed too much.

I upset my poor DH terribly. Bad enough he cried and asked me to please not give up!
He said, "I want a baby, I do not want a puppy!"

Then out of the clear blue sky, I get a phone call. It was someone I know professionally, but over the years we have become good friends. She knows someone who has a newborn and is seriously interested in making an adoption plan. She shared some of the details, of which I am not comfortable posting on a public blog. But anyhow, she told her all about us! She called to see if we are interested? Why sure we are! I gave her the OK to give them my phone number. My friend called me back again yesterday to say they are very interested in talking to us, but they asked for a few days. My friend really believes their decision is a very solid one.

I am trying not to get too excited, as we've been let down so many times before. But, the truth is I am very excited. It all sounds too good to be true!

I keep thinking about how just a day or so before I told my DH I needed to give up.
How many times I've heard when you're ready to give up, good things happen!
Could it be?

I also know I'll be ok if it doesnt work out. I'll know it was God's way of showing me I truly wasn't ready to give up!

KEEPING THE FAITH ....and PRAYING! Y

Butter Finger Ice Cream Sandwich Cake

I just thought I'd share a fun recipe! It's easy and so delicous!
Your friends will wonder how you did it.





Ice Cream Sandwich Cake

About 20 ice cream sandwiches
1 20 oz. container Cool Whip
1/2 jar caramel topping
chocolate sauce
2 Butterfinger Bars-crushed

Layer the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish with 10 ice cream sandwiches and cut any to fit. Layer about 1/2 jar of caramel sauce over the sandwiches. Layer 1/2 the container of Cool Whip. Sprinkle one crushed Butterfinger on the Cool Whip. Layer more ice cream sandwiches to fit. Cover them with the chocolate sauce. Layer the rest of the Cool Whip. Top with the other crushed Butterfinger Bar. You can top with additional sauce if you would like. Cover and freeze until firm.

I've also made it without the caramel and chocolate sauces - another delicious, yet not so sweet, treat!

No Act of Kindness, No Matter How Small, Is Ever Wasted

Kindness: –noun 1. the state or quality of being kind 2. a kind act; favor: his many kindnesses to me. 3. kind behavior: I will never forget your kindness. 4. friendly feeling; liking...

I received a special package in the mail today. One of my blog friends, Debbie, sent me a Pooh outfit her beautiful daughter Isabel had outgrown. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness.

Thank you, Debbie, for being so thoughtful, your kindness will not soon be forgotten.