No News .....

No news today! It's going to make for a very long weekend.

BT and I went to Chili's Thurs. night. We were sitting in the lounge area chatting. We talked mostly about this possible situation. We're both excited, yet afraid. If we are chosen, we could become parents very soon (she's due in June and they are expecting her to go early). Once the baby is born, they will set a court date for ASAP. Once they go to court, we become the prospective adoptive parents. Since the baby will require surgery, we would need to "camp out" in or near the hospital (which is 3 hours from home) anywhere from 2 - 12 weeks. It's a lot to think about - with such notice. But, we feel confident, we could do it.

One thought that kept running through my mind, was there are up to 4 other couples in New York State having the same conversation, feeling the same anticipation, wondering if this will be the one! 5 couples in all, and just 1 baby. That's tough to swallow.

And so, I prayed. I prayed for the baby, the bparents, the agency and all the couples. I have peace knowing God already has a plan for this child. I will be ok if this is not the one for us.
For we know God has Great Plans - and it's getting closer every day.

Wanted to share . . .

Our profile is being shown tomorrow (Friday). The baby has a (correctable) birth defect which was detected on an ultrasound. Shortly after birth the baby will have surgery and remain in the hospital for the first 1 - 3 months. We did a lot of research and feel it is something we are comfortable with. This little one needs our prayers, as does the birth parents and chosen couple.
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The agency plans to show profiles tomorrow (and we're one of them)!
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Prayers welcome!
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"Stand and see this great thing which the Lord will do before your eyes. 1 Samuel 12:16"

22nd Annual Preschool Graduation 2008

We are so proud of each of our graduates!
Congratulations Class of 2008

The best rewards in life come from the little ones!

I am so blessed!

I Love Spring! :-)

What a gorgeous day we're having in our neck of the woods! The sun is shining, birds are chirping away and everything is so, so pretty! I love SPRING! And, I love SUNSHINE!

I haven't posted in a week. It was Graduation week for our little cherubs who are off to Kindergarten in September. The program was wonderful. I was concerned there were a lot of little bloopers, but the children were so happy, giddy, etc....and that it truly what mattered the most. Their excitement made my week. It certainly is the little ones who teach us the best lessons in life. I'll come back later and post a few photos.

BT and I took a drive yesterday! It felt great. We drove 1 hour, stopped for a sandwich, did a little shopping, had ice cream, popped in on his Mom and came back home. Crazy, I know..especially with the price of gasoline. But, it was spontaneous and fun - and a much needed break.

Today, I am working. Taking advantage of a quiet day to catch up on things.
BT is off tomorrow - and so am I - we're thrilled!!!! Not that we have big plans. We'll probably just stay home, grill something good and go see my Dad. But, both of us being home on the same days rarely happens, so it will be NICE.

Speaking of my Dad.... I wish I had better news to report. We had high hopes he'd be much better by now. It's like a different person in my Dad's body. The doctors have taken him off almost all pain medication and he's still so confused. He's also very weak and still not getting out of bed. I know I am doing the right thing by spending time with him whenever I can. But, if you've ever been in a situation like this, you know how emotionally draining it can be. I spoke with the neurosurgeon yesterday. He reminded me that Dad has been on some heavy duty narcotics for a long time - and he is taking P.rkinson's medication. He also stressed that he needs to be taken out of the hospital environment where they can get him up, moving and stimulated. Once he is moved to rehab, he can see his neurologist and determine what to do about the P.rkinson's medication, as they are still not convinced he actually has PD. I continue to pray - and am reminded God is in control. Although we'd like to take control, it is ultimately HIS. He is a merciful God and a loving God. We will be ok.

Back to work! I'll come back later to post those photos.

Just Another Miracle Today! :-)

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DAD did very well. The surgery was intense - approximately 12 hours. He removed 2 vertebrae (T-12 and L1) replacing it with titanium cages, 4 screws and bone taken from a rib. Although recovery will be difficult, Dr. R told us the pain before surgery was worse than what he will experience throughout his recovery. 5-7 days in the hospital, followed by a couple weeks in rehab and then home, if all goes well. What they saw on the MRI was scar tissue and inflammation from a previous blood infection, which may be the cause of the breakdown. Both the discs had liquified. They are sending everything off for testing, but he felt confident it was not cancer.

After so many many months of pain and suffering God answered our prayers. This neurosurgeon saved my Dad's life. We will forever be grateful to this gifted man.
Thank you God, for this miracle. And, thank you, friends, for your prayers.

My Mamma did very well, too. We were very proud of her. She went to see him before surgery (6:00 AM) and was able to stick it out the whole time. We heard NOTHING from the hospital staff from 7:15 AM - 10:15 PM. It had to be the most difficult 14 hours ever.

I am off to get a little sleep! :-) Patti

Surgery

Dad is scheduled for back surgery this morning at 8:00 AM (Eastern Time).

It's a very intense, 10-hour surgery. They will remove a vertebrae (T-12) and replace it with a steel "cage". The test results showed the vertebrae is broken. They also saw "something" such as a lesion or tumor, but won't know for sure until they get inside.

The surgery is difficult. It is a surgery they do not like to do unless necesssary. In Dads situation, the only other option was to keep him on morphin.

Prayers welcome!

CT Scan & Biopsy

As I type this, my Dad is having a CT Scan and biopsy done of the area in question. The area is the last "T" vertabrae.

The past few days have been rough. He is confused and really does not understand what is happening.

I'll post again later, once we receive the report.

Thank You For Your Prayers!

The Bible teaches us "Where two or more are gathered together in MY name, there am I in the midst of them.. "(Matthew 18:20).

Ups & Downs

Tuesday Evening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My emotions have been all over the place.

I felt much better when Dad started showing signs of improvement after being OFF one of the pain medications over the past 48 hours.

I hadn't been in to see him, I HAD to take a few days to process things. After work tonight, we went to see him. He was better- but still in SO MUCH pain and very confused.

I left feeling there is a little more hope. Perhaps things will get better?

THEN..... on the way home, we received a phone call from my sister. The neuro-surgeon called with results of an MRI Dad had on Monday. They found "something" on his spine and need to do further testing immediately. Soooooo, they transferred him downtown, to the larger hospital at 10:00 at night! They want to run further tests first thing tomorrow.

Again, I am trying to sort through my thoughts. Can't help but wonder what the future holds.
I know we aren't supposed to worry - God is in complete control. But, it's so, so hard not to.

I am going to bed now. Tomorrow is another day. Another day of perhaps many more UPS and DOWNS. Thank you God, for holding us in the palms of your hands.

PS .... A note to anyone who may be reading this post. Be SURE your loved ones have a H.EALTH C.ARE P.ROXY in place and someone is aware of their wishes! If necessary, a D.N.R. should also be in place. Don't wait until something happens, you just never know. Trust me, it's important.

Up-Date On My Dad....

My Dad came home from rehab on Friday morning, much to my disagreement. I was right . . again, they were very wrong. We had so many problems with them, from sending the wrong charts to Dad's physician, to filling his medications improperly. Anyhow, we brought him home and he collapsed at the front door. I injured my back trying to hold him up. Ended up having to call the paramedics to carry him up 6 steps. They just looked at me and said "G - - - - -'s sent him home like this?" And "Now what are you going to do?". He was on the couch in horrible pain ALL day. When I went to the pharmacy to fill his meds, the orders were all wrong. They sent him home with insulin and NO DOSING instructions. I called the home and the DIRECTOR said "We are very sorry but once they are discharged I can not help you". Needless to say, we called 911 again and Dad is back in the hospital. Yesterday, I found him completely undressed in a wet bed. He knew our names, but was hallucinating really bad. He's lost control of his bladder and his eyes roll around. He keeps telling me he's going to die. My gut feeling is that he knows what's talking about. And, if this is how life is going to be, he's entitled to that. I broke down at the hospital last night. BT was having a tough time and my heart was breaking. I felt bad because my nieces got off the elevator and found me crying in the waiting area. The kids are all so sad, as it is. So, We need your prayers, please.

Stuff...

Days have been rather draining for me, both emotionally and physically. I feel like I should be stronger, but I am not. I am really worried about my parents, my Dad in particular.

Yesterday was BT's birthday! ( Happy 38th Honey, I love you soooo much XOXOXO ) I didn't have a present - and he was home sleeping. So, when I got out of work I decided to go to T a r g e t! Our T a r g e t is one with S t a r b u c k s inside. I treated myself to a Hot Chai Tea and browsed, very slowy, through the store. It felt so good to be alone and get my mind off things. I ended up buying my DH "H o w I M e t Y o u r M ot h e r" Season 2 DVD's and gift cards for i tunes. My honey was happier than a pig in mud ;-) !

But, I needed to buy SOMETHING to perk me up! I walked through the baby department (which I've been avoiding for several months) and saw a Graco Pack 'n Play I really like. AND ..it was on Sale! Normally $100, on sale through Saturday for $70. And .... YES! I bought it! And it felt good.

Here's a photo -

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Today was another draining day - I don't mean to sound like a downer - it's just really, really hard. An old friend surprised me at work and stopped by for a visit. She made my day. It felt so good to see her and talk to her. I need to e-mail her and let her know how wonderful it was to see and thank her for her genuine concern. She's a sweetie! I am so lucky to have her as my friend.

My sister took Dad to a new neurologist today. He is reviewing Dad's history (still waiting for all the records to come in) and told my sister he is not convinced Dad has P a r k i n son's Disease.

WHAT ON EARTH? Could my Dad have been misdiagnosed for over 2 years? AND what about all the medication he was taking to treat P a r k i n son's Disease? I am not sure what to think of it. Except, could it be a good thing? Could my Dad have something treatable afterall? We shall see.

In the meantime, he is being released from Rehab tomorrow to come home. We're excited to bring him home, yet afraid.

Time for a good night's rest!

We're in a good place to be!

I had a wonderful discussion with the adoption agency Director yesterday morning.

BT and I have been very anxious about the length of our wait. For those of you who do not know, we're now into our 4th year of waiting.

Some very important questions we had:

• Has the agency "wait time" changed over the 4 year period? We understood an average wait time to be 2 years.


• Are they placing babies? How often?


• Are other couples who went through home study with us still waiting, as well?


• Should we consider changing our profile to help us gain exposure?

First, we talked about the "wait" overall. We talked about the many reasons it is so hard to place a "time limit" on the wait. So, so many factors are involved. But, yes, many of the couples have been waiting a long, long time.

April proved to be a successful month for the agency as they placed 5 babies in their forever homes. This is A LOT for our small agency. Praise God!

Although they typically do not like to disclose this information, we are COUPLE # 3, which is a very good place to be! This "could" change, however unlikely, in the event another couple who has worked with the agency and been on "hold" decides to become active again. The two couples ahead of us have both waited 1 year longer than we. The two couples below us went through home study around the same time we did.

Now, just because we are COUPLE # 3, this does not mean placement will happen in that order.

Typically, when a birthparent decides she is ready to view parent profiles, the agency considers her wishes for her baby and matches her to couples who share most of the same preferences.

They will then show her the first 5 (who, of course, she shares the most preferences).

Many times the birthmother will choose from the first 5, however she is not obligated and is given the opportunity to view the next 5 if she so chooses. So you can see how easy it would be to be passed by.

She pulled out profile and shared much of the activity with me. We were shown many times we were not even aware of. We were chosen on at least 1 occasion (perhaps more), that didn't work out because the birthfather did not support placement. She felt our profile is showing well and does not need changes. However, we are always welcome to send new pictures and pages. And... if we'd like to discuss preferences, we may do so with our caseworker. In the Directors honest opinion, she did not feel we needed to.

Oh... while discussing how difficult the wait can be, I shared my feelings about family and friends putting on the pressure, doubting our choices, etc. We agreed sometimes when people think they are actually helping, they are in fact, only hurting and taking away from our journey. It's hard to understand why people who love us, can't seem to accept our choices. Instead of doubting, judging, etc. . why can't some people cheer us on, encourge us and hold us up in prayer?

Anyhow.....

We're up there at the top of the list! Activity is happening! Our birthmother just hasn't found us, yet! We feel better knowing all of this. God is good and has a plan!