Well, My Phone Rang Today -

Happy Memorial Day!

I did nothing today...nothing. Just relaxed and it felt great.

I received a very interesting phone call. A friend called to tell me she was talking to her Mom at a family picnic. She was telling her Mom about BT and I - because someone they both know is pregnant and "may" need to make an adoption plan. Her Mom proceeded to tell her that she met a young lady (in her 20's) in one of her EMT classes - she is 6 mths pregnant and wants to make an adoption plan. She lives at home, with her parents and her 2 year old daughter. They called her to tell her about us - and she wanted to speak to me! So, I called her.
We had a very nice chat. She's really sweet, outgoing, friendly and very upbeat. She is going for an ultrasound on Wednesday, so I will call her then to see how things are going. In the meantime she wants to meet us - perhaps this weekend.

Something new to pray about!

Life is good!

Life is good - things are looking good!

Camp Registrations and Fall Before/After Care Registrations are rolling in! Graduation is falling together nicely. And the best news . . . my assistant has offered to come back to work starting next week. She will stay through 'til school starts back up. So, I'll have her for 3 1/2 months. See how GOD works?! :)

We had some papers we needed to complete and send in to the adoption agency - they are up-dating our homestudy. Everything is in, except my medical. I have to wait a few weeks to get in.

I wanted to share today's scripture from Joel Osteen's devotional:

“Because of your faith it will happen.” (Matthew 9:29)

So simple, yet so meaningful. And, it will happen! Our baby will come ....

A Gentle & Peaceful Spirit Is Precious In The Sight of God

I've been thinking alot about my "focus" in life. This was brought on by days & nights of feeling anxious, upset, impatient and disturbed. Being anxious weighs down your heart and creates a certain sadness. Then I began to think about my relationship with Christ. I had to admit I was feeling very far away from God. I knew He had great plans for me. But, sometimes it seemed easier to "ignore" what God is saying than to open my heart and my life to the plan He has made for me. These plans were made even before I drew my first breath!

That, to me, is amazing!

Instead of finding peace, knowing God would provide, I was belly-aching over not having a child to call my own. Seriously, all I want is to be a Mommy! That's not asking alot, is it? But, instead of making my requests known, I was also trying to control how it would happen, when it would happen, etc....

My marriage has suffered tremendously. This isn't the way our life together was suppose to play out. We had a plan! A beautiful wedding, a new home, a baby or two, etc. etc. . Isn't that the all American way? Instead we faced infertility, a long wait for an adoption, very ill parents and several losses along the way (we lost many loved ones, but I'll save that for a different post).

Stress took over and suddenly our "home" wasn't such a happy home afterall. We're working on it, as a team. But it took a lot to open our eyes and focus! I love BT with all my being. With God's grace we can rebuild what was lost.

Thinking! Thinking! Thinking! It has consumed my life. But it helped me to realize what I really needed to do. And that is FOCUS ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. To do this, I had to open my heart and be willing to hear whatever God is telling me. Slowly, I feel my relationship with Christ will grow and He won't seem so far away. I am looking to God for answers to where He wants me to be. I am trusting God to help me find peace. I am trusting God to help me mend my broken marriage. I am trusting God to work on BT's heart, just like He is working on mine.

God is offering me a gentle and peaceful spirit, it is mine, all I have to do is ask! Isn't that amazing? What a gracious and loving God we share!

During this time of "waiting" - I will focus on Him. As I grow closer, I feel confident God will bless our home and our marriage. And, someday a sweet, precious baby will be placed in our arms. From there - I do not know where our life will go. God is at work! :-)

And someday, when I meet Jesus face-to-face, this life of mine, complete with all the trials and tribulations, will make perfect sense!

KEEP LOOKING UP!

Thank You Trace!! You're in my prayers, girl!

Thank you, Trace, for your post! I appreciate the insights, suggestions, support and love! :-)
I know you and Sweetness have faced a lot, as well. I know your hearts ache for a baby - just like ours. And, someday, my friend, we'll have our babies in our arms.

My friend offered me a most precious gift - the gift to carry a baby for BT and I. She has always been the one who understood what we've faced and offered support all along the way. She's that kind of person... and she's a Mom to 3 beautiful little ones! It showed me how very precious this friend is and always will be. I love her to pieces!

My heart was touched - my emotions were overflowing. Her sweet words echoed in my mind all day. I will never forget her kindness and her spirit!

BT and I talked about it but concluded it isn't what we're prepared to do at this time.
We would once again face all the trials of infertility treatments, as the baby would be biologically ours. We put that behind us 3 + years ago and decided adoption was Gods plan. And, that is where we focus. Yes, it's been a long, long wait - but God is good and His timing is always perfect.

Generosity & Excitement

My dear, sweet friend called again today. She wanted to tell me she had a dream she was pregnant with a baby for BT and Me! There was such excitement in her voice as she told me it was the most realistic dream she's ever had. She so wants to have a baby for us - I am touched by her love and generosity.

A True Friend Indeed

I felt this story deserves it's own post.

I received a phone call today - from a dear, sweet friend. She was my assistant at the day care center for several years and is now a SAHM.

We chatted for a while. Then she brought up Mother's Day. She thought of me and knew it had to be hard.

She then said something I never expected her to say. She wanted me to know she is more than willing to have a baby for BT and I. She wanted us to know, if we needed her to surrogate, there would be no question in her mind - she'd do it in a heartbeat! What sweeter gift could a friend offer?

We've had other offers - another friend, my sister and a dear friend in Florida. All of them, equally touched us.

I told BT at dinner - he was speechless.

Although our focus is on the adoption - it's something to think and pray over.

COULD I ASK FOR BETTER FRIENDS? I say NOT!

BT's Birthday & Mother's Day

4 weeks ago, our SW informed us the possible situation was no longer a possibility - the bmother had decided to parent. Since then, no word from the agency. I worked from home today - and twice the phone rang and came up PRIVATE CALLER. My heart sank. But no, neither one was the agency. :(

I haven't posted since BT's birthday! He had 2 great celebrations. First, we went to see his family and visited a PF Changs for the first time, very cool! The next day we went to Famous Dave's with my family, again...very cool! But, there was some sadness on his part. Birthdays are becoming reminders we are only getting older and do not have a baby in our arms.

On Saturday, my sister helped the girls (ages 9 & 11) make dinner for their Mother, Grandmothers and Me. I really didn't want to go but the girls wanted me there because I was "like" a mother to them. How sweet it that? So, I put on a happy face and went. They made chicken legs & pork chops, potatoes, peas, salad and turnovers. They wrote 3 poems, one for Grandma, one for Nana and one for ME. I will come back and post the poem they wrote me.

Mother's Day was hard. I kept busy. I was hoping for a quiet day at home. But, my sisters family came over to do some landscaping for my parents. I was nominated to make dinner.
Kept it easy - pulled pork, homemade baked beans, homemade macaroni salad, kentucky wonder beans, etc... very delicious.

I couldn't help but think about all the women out there who were very sad on Mother's Day.
The ones who recently lost a mom, the ones who lost a child, the ones who would never become a mom, the ones waiting to be a mom, the list could go on and on. It's very sad, indeed.
And... seems so unfair.

Today

Today BT is not a happy camper. His boss informed him they are making changes.

BT is a NEWS writer. As of Monday, he's been assigned to a different show. He will now go to work at 1:00 AM and get off @ 9:00 AM. Those hours simply stink; just don't work with our lifestyle.

This is Sweeps! The ratings are down on the show. Of course they are, they compete with GOOD MORNING AMERICA and THE TODAY SHOW. The boss wants to try to bring the ratings up.

So, BT was Mister Cranky Pants ALL DAY today. I don't blame him.

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I haven't blogged in a week. We've been so busy - mostly at work. Graduation is approaching, Summer Camp Registration is in progress and I am down a Teacher. By the way, her surgery was a success and she is already home recovering. Still praying her sight is restored.

Good News! I have a "plan" for an Office Assistant. I finally feel really good about one of the current workers. I don't want to jump on it too quickly. But, by the end of the school year I'd like to talk to her about working in my office (fingers crossed).

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We had eye exams today. Since my prescription changed, I'll be shopping for new glasses. :-)
BT's didn't change; he's happy with the ones he has.

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We walked tonight, in the rain! I am finally getting back into a routine. I have to. I also have to start testing my blood sugar several times throughout the day and keeping a record of it for my new Endo. I hate it! I hate needles!

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Wish I had adoption news to share. It's been Q U I E T, very Q U I E T!
We're doing OK - I think?