I've been thinking alot about my "focus" in life. This was brought on by days & nights of feeling anxious, upset, impatient and disturbed. Being anxious weighs down your heart and creates a certain sadness. Then I began to think about my relationship with Christ. I had to admit I was feeling very far away from God. I knew He had great plans for me. But, sometimes it seemed easier to "ignore" what God is saying than to open my heart and my life to the plan He has made for me. These plans were made even before I drew my first breath!
That, to me, is amazing!
Instead of finding peace, knowing God would provide, I was belly-aching over not having a child to call my own. Seriously, all I want is to be a Mommy! That's not asking alot, is it? But, instead of making my requests known, I was also trying to control how it would happen, when it would happen, etc....
My marriage has suffered tremendously. This isn't the way our life together was suppose to play out. We had a plan! A beautiful wedding, a new home, a baby or two, etc. etc. . Isn't that the all American way? Instead we faced infertility, a long wait for an adoption, very ill parents and several losses along the way (we lost many loved ones, but I'll save that for a different post).
Stress took over and suddenly our "home" wasn't such a happy home afterall. We're working on it, as a team. But it took a lot to open our eyes and focus! I love BT with all my being. With God's grace we can rebuild what was lost.
Thinking! Thinking! Thinking! It has consumed my life. But it helped me to realize what I really needed to do. And that is FOCUS ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. To do this, I had to open my heart and be willing to hear whatever God is telling me. Slowly, I feel my relationship with Christ will grow and He won't seem so far away. I am looking to God for answers to where He wants me to be. I am trusting God to help me find peace. I am trusting God to help me mend my broken marriage. I am trusting God to work on BT's heart, just like He is working on mine.
God is offering me a gentle and peaceful spirit, it is mine, all I have to do is ask! Isn't that amazing? What a gracious and loving God we share!
During this time of "waiting" - I will focus on Him. As I grow closer, I feel confident God will bless our home and our marriage. And, someday a sweet, precious baby will be placed in our arms. From there - I do not know where our life will go. God is at work! :-)
And someday, when I meet Jesus face-to-face, this life of mine, complete with all the trials and tribulations, will make perfect sense!
KEEP LOOKING UP!
Instead of finding peace, knowing God would provide, I was belly-aching over not having a child to call my own. Seriously, all I want is to be a Mommy! That's not asking alot, is it? But, instead of making my requests known, I was also trying to control how it would happen, when it would happen, etc....
My marriage has suffered tremendously. This isn't the way our life together was suppose to play out. We had a plan! A beautiful wedding, a new home, a baby or two, etc. etc. . Isn't that the all American way? Instead we faced infertility, a long wait for an adoption, very ill parents and several losses along the way (we lost many loved ones, but I'll save that for a different post).
Stress took over and suddenly our "home" wasn't such a happy home afterall. We're working on it, as a team. But it took a lot to open our eyes and focus! I love BT with all my being. With God's grace we can rebuild what was lost.
Thinking! Thinking! Thinking! It has consumed my life. But it helped me to realize what I really needed to do. And that is FOCUS ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. To do this, I had to open my heart and be willing to hear whatever God is telling me. Slowly, I feel my relationship with Christ will grow and He won't seem so far away. I am looking to God for answers to where He wants me to be. I am trusting God to help me find peace. I am trusting God to help me mend my broken marriage. I am trusting God to work on BT's heart, just like He is working on mine.
God is offering me a gentle and peaceful spirit, it is mine, all I have to do is ask! Isn't that amazing? What a gracious and loving God we share!
During this time of "waiting" - I will focus on Him. As I grow closer, I feel confident God will bless our home and our marriage. And, someday a sweet, precious baby will be placed in our arms. From there - I do not know where our life will go. God is at work! :-)
And someday, when I meet Jesus face-to-face, this life of mine, complete with all the trials and tribulations, will make perfect sense!
KEEP LOOKING UP!
3 comments:
Pep - ((((HUGS))))
I know God just waits patiently for us to return when we have strayed. And He is so happy now knowing what is in your heart!
You are always in my thoughts and prayers, my friend!
May God Bless You Always!
(((PEP)))
miss ya around the forum!
Thanks!!!
(((DALE)))
(((CAM)))
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