Adoption

Silence ......

I've heard "Nothing" ........

I am hoping this is a good sign. :)

Anyhow - I have a little story to share:

Four years ago, when BT and I decided to adopt, my sister told me about a couple she knew who had adopted several times and suggested I call the Mom. So, I did! We had a great conversation and she recommended the agency we are currently working with. That was the first and last time we spoke.

Lo and behold, 4 years later, we meet face-to-face at my nephew's graduation party.
We talked adoption on and off all afternoon. She and her husband have 12 children; 10 adopted and 2 "homemade"! This week they 2 more children to their family - 5 year old twin girls from Liberia.

I was so inspired by them - their stories - their children - their faith. 2 of their children were adopted as babies from our agency. Meeting them was so special to me!

Of course, she was very interested in how we were doing - and somewhat surprised we were still waiting. Come to find out - her best friend is the birthparent counselor at our agency.
She is going to call her this week and see what she can find out for us. I cannot wait to hear from her.

I feel so good about things. She was so inspiring - just the kind of person I needed to pop into my life about right now.

THEN .......

This man comes up to me and says "Are you P?" I said, "Yes, I am". He introduced himself as the Pastor of one of the area churches. He proceeded to ask me how I was doing and how the adoption was coming along (apparently he's been hearing alot about it from my sister)! I was sharing a little bit of our experience with him and his wife - when I told him it's been 4 years in the making, he encouraged me NOT to lose faith and to know there is a baby out there for us. He then proceeded to tell me they adopted 2 children and waited 14 years for the first one!
14 years!!!!! Oh my goodness.

What a great day! What great people! I am feeling very inspired!! :)

But, I am also feeling very exhausted. I have lots to think about - and pray about.

What A Party! :-)

Just wanted to share a few pics taken of the kids at VC's Graduation party!
The party was great - good food, good friends, good times. :-)
He'll be leaving for college in 2 weeks .......

I am so happy for him, yet so sad to see him go.

Going Crazy!

I've been logging on with intentions to post. I just don't know what to say?

We heard "nothing" from our agency.

Something just seemed "different" about this situation. She called and was only able to give me a few minutes to call her back, or they would have to pass on showing our profile. That leads me to believe something came up rather suddenly. Or, perhaps they hadn't considered us because of our other commitment and then they remembered we had pulled out and decided to add us to the profiles at the last moment? When I called her back, she was already in the parking lot, leaving for the appointment and came back in to take my call. She had to know right then if she could take our profile. OF COURSE! OF COURSE!! :-) :-) :-) :-)

The last thing she said to me was "I may not call you back today, she may not decide that soon" .... Now, that led me to believe she was going to let us know something.
In the past, she called to tell us when we were not the chosen couple. Could it be we were chosen and she isn't calling because they really aren't supposed to tell us? Or, perhaps the birthmother hasn't made up her mind - or has decided not to place. Holy cow! How long must we wait in "limbo".

Either way a phone call would be nice! We are going crazy!

I sat down at the desk earlier today - with intention to call HER. I chickened out.

That's where we stand - and ALL we think about. . . .

I feel like God is smiling down on us and saying "Be Patient".

Patience, Pep, Patience .....

The phone rang several times today - it was crazy!

Unfortunately, of all the calls, not one from the agency.

I thought for sure we'd hear something today.

Overcome with Joy! :-)

So I got through the day without breathing a word to ANYONE! :-)
Our CW hinted that she may call and let me know - but I don't know how she can do that. Unless, because there's this very slight risk - she has to tell us from the beginning? I am not sure? I am overcome with JOY that our profile was shown. It helps to know we're active. I promised myself I wouldn't get down if we aren't chosen. But if we are - I will be one very excited Mamma! ;)

It's almost 2 AM - Sleepy Time!

Feeling Prayerful . .

The agency called first thing this morning. Our profile is being shown today!

Things Happen For A Reason

Today was a busy day! I can't begin to describe the various activities I found myself juggling. . . At one point I had 2 phones ringing, an infant with a fever, overly stimulated preschoolers walking by my office saying "Hi Miss Patti", "I love you, Miss Patti", "Can we go to the Zoo next week?", a staff member complaining because I bought Oscar Meyer Hot Dogs, Not Sahlen's, a very upset child because she didn't have a Camp T-shirt to wear on today's field trip (Daddy forgot to order it and came begging to see if there are ANY extras, LOL), All the while, I was attempting to put together 2 ADS for the paper - and the deadline for submission is tomorrow. Why am I saying this? Because while all this was going on - in just a few short minutes, I unknowingly missed a call from our adoption agency. Apparently, she went right to VM, both my phones were already ringing. So, I found the message, 15 minutes after the agency had closed for the day. Since I just talked to them Friday, I did not expect to hear from her again, so soon. Her message was vague - but detailed enough to let me know they have a few questions regarding our profile/preferences as they are working with a new bmom. I am very eager to talk to her tomorrow! :-)

I am so thankful I called her when I did. Had I not called to inform her we were not going to adopt Stephanie's baby - she would not be considering us for this new situation. Things happen for a reason.

The Right Decision....

Tracey, you didn't miss something. I haven't really provided may details. I many have earlier on - but at one point I deleted some posts.

In the beginning, it appeared to be the "perfect" adoption situation. . . every potential adoptive parents dream. I met her, and quickly found myself very fond of her. I was planning to go to doctor appointments with her, and perhaps be in the delivery room.

As time went on, she became very needy - to the point BT, I and our agency became concerned. We also noticed she wavered in her decision. . . rather frequently. Not to mention, once the bfather heard about her visit with our agency, he called them and told them he does not want to meet us and will NOT sign.

More and more "red flags" contineud to surface.

In addition to all of this - there was a great deal of "openness". We lived in the same town, knew a lot of the same people, etc. I knew way too much than I needed to know about her family situation - one that was extremely unhealthy.

I believe in my heart, and always will, she needs to place the baby. If she does not, I can almost guarantee CPS will get involved and the baby will end up in the system.

I keep in touch - try to encourage, offer support, etc. I want to do anything I can, hoping she'll remain comfortable with placing. Our agency has other wonderful couples to choose from.

I believe we made the right decision. But, at times, it still hurts. To come so close, again - and have to walk the other way. We did not feel it was the placement for us - and didn't want our profile to be put on hold from now until October.

I think of her so often - she'll always be special to me. I just hope she knows that!

The Weekend

It's been a few days. I feel I should up-date.

I cannot believe the weekend has come and gone so quickly. I had wonderful intentions - yet, found myself very lazy. It was an overwhelming week, guess I needed a chance to veg?

Friday morning, I spoke to Stephanie and explained to her BT and I have decided not to adopt her baby, should she decide to make an adoption plan. Although she knew we may be doing so, it still came as a surprise to her. She was so quiet - and when i asked her if she was ok - she said her feelings were hurt. All in all, I thought the conversation went very well. I promised her (and the agency) we would not turn our backs on her. Naturally, it's much easier for me to be a friend to her, now that we both know.

So it's now official - everyone knows.

I made an awesome bow tie pasta dish this weekend I found in a magazine. It's a definite keeper! Perhaps I will come back and post the recipe, if anyone may want to try it.

My previous post is about my cousin, Ann who is fighting inperable pancreatic cancer. Please take a moment to read it - and if you're willing, say a little pray for them.

It's late - and I have a kitchen to clean. Nite All!

Praying For My Cousin's Wife, Ann.....

Ann

Randy, Ann, Andrew, Erin,
Meredith, Uncle Bobby & Aunt Sue


This is a recent email I received from my cousin, Randy seeking prayer for his wife, Ann who have been diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer.

It's so hard to believe, a person you know and love, who appears to be very healthy could possibly be facing a serious illness such as this. . My heart and my prayers go out to them.

For anyone reading my blog who believes in the power of prayer - please pray in faith, knowing God will answer, that my cousin may receive divine healing from our wonderful God.

Hugs - Pep

Hello All,

I want to let you know that Erin has created a website to keep everybody up to date on Ann. You can find it at annmooredotorg. Ann has just completed three rounds of chemotherapy. She has an off week this week. On July 23rd she begins a 5-week stay in Indianapolis for daily radiation treatment and continued weekly chemotherapy at the IU Med Center. The goal is to shrink the tumor to the point they can operate. Right now the tumor is inoperable because it is too close to some vital veins. Before Ann's diagnosis, we used to pray for a specific need and then add "if it be your will." Well, we have since come to realize that it is not God's will for any of us to have cancer. God will is that we be whole and live out our full years. So we are asking our family and friends to pray in faith for Ann's healing, believing that he is able and willing to do it. In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus says "whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."I know that many of you are powerful prayer warriors. Please take my wife, Ann, to the throne of grace through prayer. Then thank and praise the mighty name of Jesus,whose blood purchased our redemption and our healing. And please know that we are praying for you too!

With Love, Randy

Up-date on Doc Appt's

I am so overly tired - but I feel like I need to up-date before I forget things.

BT and I went to the doctor last night. After she talked to BT, she came and asked me a few questions about what I feel is going on with him. She said all his bloodwork looks good - thyroid and blood sugar all in normal ranges. Her biggest concern is that he is getting too old to be working overnight! Of course, he does not want to hear it. She also talked to us about diet & exercise.
So we need to modify some things and see her again in 2 months.
As far as I am concerned... I talked to her about the pain I have in my left ankle/heel. It's been bothering me for 2 solid months. Some days I can barely put weight down on it - and I am to the point I always walk with a limp. Well, she says I have Planters Fasiitis. I wasn't thrilled to hear it. Apparently, once you have it you will always have problems with it. She made some recommendations and will send me for physical therapy if needed. It sure is upsetting my evening routine - as we've grown to love our walks!

Work is busy! But, a good busy! We're keeping the Summer Campers on their toes.
Tomorrow is DQ day - nothing like a delicious ice cream cone and on HOT day. Hoping rain doesn't interfere, as we are walking. Thursday we're going to a Wizard of Oz Festival - and from what I hear there will be some of the original Munchkins there.
We've seen them before and the kids always get a kick out of it. Friday is swimming at the town pool. Next weeks agenda includes a tour of the fire hall and a trip to miniature golf. So fun!

Enough for one night! :-) Hugs to all my blogger buddies!!!

New Curtains! :-)

The highlight of my weekend was buying new curtains for my home office :-)
I cleaned the room really, really well and hung new curtains.... I think it looks great. I wanted striped/casual - it wasn't easy to find what I was looking for, but we succeeded.

My entire house needs cleaning - so I started with this room. Next on the agenda - the family room.

I really hate cleaning - but love the end result!

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Adoption Reassurance

This is so touching!

What I Am Thinking Tonight...

BT is asleep, the house is quiet -

I am so concerned about BT. He sleeps so much. Not that he likes it or wants it - he cannot stay awake. He's beat, most of the time. I don't remember the last time I saw him rested. I hate it! We need quality time together and yet it's so hard to find. We're going to the doctor Monday - I hope she takes it seriously. The last time we talked to her about it she recommended room darkening blind. Augh!

Both birthmothers I've recently dealt with are keeping in touch with me. :/ Rachel already has an adoptive family picked out through a local attorney. She seems to need someone to talk to and encourage her. We e-mail back and forth several times a day. Stephanie calls me everyday - several times. She left another message tonight hoping we can get together over the weekend. She knows we are moving on and she is now leaning toward parenting.

I learned so much through these young women! Although we are not adopting from either of them, I've been given a front seat view of adoption through the eyes of a birthmother. I have found it very interesting and touching. I have found I have a DEEP, DEEP sense of compassion for these young ladies. It's almost as if God is working in my life - but I am not sure where it's going to take me. I've asked Him - but He has not been so quick to answer! ;)

I mean, shouldn't I be more upset things didn't work out? I care about them - they are what matters - and I hope to see them both make the right decision, even though I already know we will not be a part of the equation.

And then there is Jamie. Jamie is a young lady I have known since she was an infant herself. She is YOUNG, single and on her own with an 8 mth old baby boy. She made an adoption plan and chose a wonderful couple to adopt her baby. But, when the baby was born, she could not sign the papers. She decided to parent. Now, I haven't seen her in years - and doesn't she look me up and enroll the little one in my day care?
She appears to be doing well, on her own and the baby is absolutley a blessing!
It was interesting hearing her tell her story, as she had no idea BT and I were hopeful adoptive parents. When I told her, we "clicked"! Here I am trying to set a good example and offer encourage when she needs it.

Tonight - I am thankful for these brave, young ladies. I am thankful for the connection we share. And, I am thankful to call each of them "friend".

Now, I know I've complained - because the pain of waiting is so strong.
But, I know each of these girls made the best decision for their child. I am proud of them - they are courageous young ladies. =)

4th of July

Happy Birthday America!

I know I am a little late posting - but I am still awake and winding down. It didn't seem like the 4th of July today - too much rain, fog and thunder! So, we postponed our BBQ 'til tomorrow. It will work out well since tomorrow is actually Poppy's birthday! Using the Cake Doctor book I made an awesome cake ... CAN'T WAIT 'TIL TOMORROW!

Rachel (the gal who called me Memorial Day to see about us adopting her baby) finally touched base with us today. The news was a little sad (for us) ... Apparently her Mother did not want her to go through an agency, so she contacted a lawyer who set them up with a adoptive couple. So, she is matched with them.
I wished her well and tried not to let is upset me. Afterall, God has a plan - and I need to remember that and keep the faith! Although it's getting really tough.

Stepanie also called today (several times). She wanted to know if we (Me, her and BT) could go see Fireworks together. She is sweet, the whole thing breaks me heart.

Waaaaaaaaah!

I can't shake this. I am so, so down in the dumps. I cry at the drop of a hat.

I want our baby now, DARN IT!

I've had enough waiting, enough being patient.

It isn't fair, makes no sense and is about to drive me batty.

And those of you who have known me, know this is so unlike me. But for goodness sakes......