Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Right Decision....

Tracey, you didn't miss something. I haven't really provided may details. I many have earlier on - but at one point I deleted some posts.

In the beginning, it appeared to be the "perfect" adoption situation. . . every potential adoptive parents dream. I met her, and quickly found myself very fond of her. I was planning to go to doctor appointments with her, and perhaps be in the delivery room.

As time went on, she became very needy - to the point BT, I and our agency became concerned. We also noticed she wavered in her decision. . . rather frequently. Not to mention, once the bfather heard about her visit with our agency, he called them and told them he does not want to meet us and will NOT sign.

More and more "red flags" contineud to surface.

In addition to all of this - there was a great deal of "openness". We lived in the same town, knew a lot of the same people, etc. I knew way too much than I needed to know about her family situation - one that was extremely unhealthy.

I believe in my heart, and always will, she needs to place the baby. If she does not, I can almost guarantee CPS will get involved and the baby will end up in the system.

I keep in touch - try to encourage, offer support, etc. I want to do anything I can, hoping she'll remain comfortable with placing. Our agency has other wonderful couples to choose from.

I believe we made the right decision. But, at times, it still hurts. To come so close, again - and have to walk the other way. We did not feel it was the placement for us - and didn't want our profile to be put on hold from now until October.

I think of her so often - she'll always be special to me. I just hope she knows that!

6 comments:

Happy said...

Oh, Pep, I'm so sorry. It will happen! It's just so frustrating that it takes so LONG!

Stephanie said...

Pep, I am so sorry that I wasn't aware of everything that has been going on ... I am so sorry that this journey has been so long, so difficult ... He still sees you, my dear friend, and has a perfect plan for you ... ((Hugs))

BlessedWithDaughters said...

I know it seems hard, but it seems to me that you've made a wise decision...particularly if the birthfather won't sign. Without his cooperation, there are just so many variables that could end up with you having your heart broken in October rather than now. I think you're being so kind to stay in contact with her and to continue to offer your support to her.

God will bless you and your hubby. I'll be praying for you. Hugs and hugs and hugs.

Min

Patti said...

Thanks for your love and support!!!!!! :-)

katd said...

I'm so sorry. What amazing strength and faith you have, though, to be able to make the right decision for your family. I hope so much this happens for you soon!

SJ said...

Wow, I'm so glad you were able to make such a hard decision. God will bless you with a wonderful child and birthfamily situation.