Sunday, April 15, 2007

Lazy, Overwhelmed, Anxious . . . .

Yesterday morning, as I was standing in the kitchen, I felt something staring at me. I looked up to find a deer peering in the dining room window watching me. When I looked outside, I found she had 3 friends in the yard with her and a big, fat black cat! Lots of nature in our yard. One of these days I am gonna have the camera handy and catch a photo of her peering in the window.

So today was a LAZY day, I mean REALLY, REALLY lazy. I had big plans. But, we were worn out. . . both of us. We literally did nothing. The drive home stressed me out last night and may have added to why I felt so outdone today. I had Mamma and the 2 girls in the truck with me, some pretty precious cargo and I could barely see the road.

It was rainy here all day. It's getting depressing. Our yard is so drab. I can't wait to get out there and clean it up, do my plants, etc.... it's taking sooooooooo long.

So, our profile was shown on Friday. I try not to think about it, but it seems to come to mind several times a day!!!! It's not like this is the first or only time it's being shown, it's just that we are aware of it (this time) and very anxious. Part of me would love to know, but could I withstand the heartache of knowing we were picked and have her change her mind? I think I am better off not knowing. My patience will pay off, someday!

I do feel a bit overwhelmed. The call was like a "reality check" for me. Whether it's this baby or the next, there will come a day we will bring home a bundle of sheer joy. I have so much I need to do!!! I can't stop thinking of what I need to do at the office and at home. Will I ever feel ready?

1 comment:

Happy said...

I've been in that situation. It's hard not to think about it CONSTANTLY. In a way I like it better not knowing when our profile has gone out.