Hoo-Ray for H.oughton College!

Looks like my niece is H.oughton bound! The fun part about it is that's where I went to College. I am so happy for her! Check out the memento she brought back for Samuel:

Smile!

Daddy caught a smile on camera!

I love..

I love...

Hanging out with my boy, Samuel Riley! :-)

My child is all I ever dreamt he'd be. Masterfully created by God, he is so precious .. so perfect.

Knowing him, loving him and being his mom is amazing.

We are a family now. We feel completely blessed.

At 4 weeks old, his personality is developing. He's calm, sweet, laid back and loving. A very gentle soul.

I am astonished by his presence.

The Journey of Many Hearts

In that moment, quiet surrounded me. It was as if time actually stood still. My breath caught. My heart stopped. Slowly, gently, I wrapped you in my arms. I felt the steady rhythm of your heart next to mine. Softly, I pressed my cheek to yours, closed my eyes and exhaled... In the stillness of that quiet miracle, I held you, my son, for the very first time. In that moment at last, the journey of many hearts beat as one. And you were home.

- Author Unknown

Samuel's First Couple of Days Home

Samuel's first few days with us were "trial and error" ... but considering the life changing event "he and we" went through, we all did phenominal, really.
It seemed none of us slept that night, literally. Since I hadn't actually slept much since "The Call" on Thursday, I was rather wiped out.

I was falling in love with Samuel and feeling over the top overwhelmed! Brian and I had gone from a couple to a family in just a few short days. Well wishers meant well, so well ...
everyone was falling in love with Samuel. But, I went through a day of feeling smothered, tired, worn out and I just needed some time to gather my thoughts and get some rest.
My brother and sister-in-law were here from Cleveland. They stepped in and managed the home, baby, phone, etc. while we attemped to catch some rest. Notice I said "rest" because I don't think I truly ever went to "sleep".

Since then it's been all up hill. We couldn't be happier. Samuel is a good baby - I mean so good I feel guilty! ;) He's pleasant, happy, smiley (for real, not gas, ha), content.

I have experienced "Mom instincts" I didn't expect. So surreal. I find myself wanting to protect him and love him FOREVER! We spend alot of time bonding. We sing, cuddle and kiss as much as we can. I can honestly say there are absolutely NO bonding issues, as a matter of fact, I find it to be quite the opposite.

Samuel is a miracle from God. Our wait was long and painful, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I can see now, God was busy perfecting our son. I thank God every day for this baby. . . we have been richly blessed.

More On Placement Day

Once Samuel was introduced to us we were given a few moments quiet time. We fed him, changed him and prepped for the ride home. I had taken a special newborn layette outfit, but it was TOO big for his tiny little body.

The ride home was great! I sat in the back with Samuel while BT drove. From the moment Samuel was placed in my arms I felt fine, great actually. No more tummy ache. So our first stop was Wendy's drive-thru for a single burger and diet coke!

We stopped at a service area for gas, and to feed, change and hold him. The drive home seemed to take forever. Baby slept... I spent time texting pix to family who were all waiting for his arriveal home.
When we arrived home, Samuel was greeted by a stork on the lawn and a sign in the window.


Inside our immediately family was waiting to meet him. Everyone was so happy, so excited, so in love. I wish there were words to describe the emotions!

My sister decorated the inside of our home for Samuel's homecoming. Everyone stayed for dinner. We had Olive Garden lasagna, tossed salad and garlic bread. My mother-in-law brought a cake from Wegmans. So fun and so yummy!

Samuel "Asked of God"

March 3, 2009 - Placement Day

At approximately 12 noon, Baby Samuel Riley was placed in my arms.

I'll do my best to explain how the moments enfolded . . but I know my words won't come close to the joy we experienced.

Barely able to sleep the night before, we were up promptly at 6 AM, with plans to leave for the agency by 7:30 AM. All the stress, nervousness, etc. caught up to me and I got a nervous stomach that not only caused us to leave late, but required a few unexpected stops on the New York State Thruway. Our appointment was for 10 AM. We were late. I felt horrible. But the ladies at our agency were great.

We were greeted at the door and taken back to the counseling room to read, review and sign necessary paperwork. I vividly remember trying to sign my name for the first time. My hand was so weak and shaky! Once the adoptive parent worker went over everything with us, the birthparent worker came in to talk to us.

She told us about Samuel's birthmom! She's a brave, strong, loving woman who wanted the best for Samuel. Her plan was solid. She wanted him placed with a couple who waited a long, long time and had no other children. She chose not to have contact of any kind. No phone calls, letters, cards, etc. We loved all the things the agency shared with us regarding her life, wishes, future goals, etc.. I can't stop thinking about her and the gift she gave us. I may never be given the opportunity to thank her myself, but she will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.

One thing the worker stressed over and over was how much she loved Samuel and that we should always assure him of her love.

Then it was time for Samuel's foster family to bring him in! I remember the room quickly filling with people and camera flashes all over the place, but what I remember most was this image of the foster mother walking into the room with our boy.

Once Samuel was placed in our arms, things were pretty quiet as we all shared a loving, emotional moment. Samuel's foster Mom talked to me about his likes and dislikes.

Once things calmed down everyone stood in a circle holding hands as a prayer was offered.

Samuel squirmed and made his presence known during the prayer (too cute).

I am so glad we had the opportunity to meet the family who cared for our son for the first two weeks of his life. They're a fine, Christian family whom I am sure took very good care of him.

I must admit, my heart went to my throat as they said their "good-byes" and I heard one of them whisper to Samuel, "Have a good life" with such sincerity.

1 Samuel 1:27

A verse of scripture found in 1 SAMUEL reads, "For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him".

The name SAMUEL means "Asked of God".

What better baby boy name could I ask for?

Our little boy will be known as "Samuel Riley"

I just can't sleep. Everything is so surreal.

I am amazed. Completely and totally amazed at the excitement, love and support from those around me.

The words, "This is the call you've been waiting for" echo through my brain over and over.

It was 4:49 PM, I was in my office at work, preparing a proposal for a Universal Pre-K program.
The phone rang, PRIVATE showed up on Caller ID. Normally, I do not answers the phone at that time of day, but Gail had run up to the restroom. When I saw PRIVATE CALLER, I had a fleeting thought it could be Linda. But, quite honestly, for the past 4 years, my heart would skip a beat with every PRIVATE CALLER that came up!

I wish I could remember more of our conversation. Most of it is a blur, as I was crying and working hard to keep my composure. One other thing I remember rather clearly was Linda telling me our birthmother wishes. She wanted him to go to a couple who has waited a long, long time and had no other children!! Oh, and she told me she hadn't seen him yet, but the buzz around the agency was that he is tiny and beautiful!

We hung up the phone and I wept and wept and wept. I wanted so bad to be with Brian right then, but he was home sleeping. I called his cell. I called home. After several attempts it was clear he was not waking up. The reason I did not just head home was because I didn't feel I could concentrate on driving. Anyhow, I finally decided I had to tell! When I called my Mom she offered to walk to our house and walk Brian up! Poor guy thought something was on fire.
Once he realized "the fire" was actually news of a baby boy, he came over to my office for what little details I knew.

We came home. The phones rang like crazy! Thanks to very excited family members and my Facebook status, word spread quick.

We have so much to do! Thank God for my baby sister whose done this twice already. She's already shopped for clothes. Last night she took all the baby laundry to my Mom's to wash and sort. Today she and her husband are coming over to finish up the laundry and give me a chance to work on other areas of the house. I know it sounds wierd that they are doing the rest of the nursery and not us, but I just can't think. I go in there and all I can do is stare. Seriously, I am so grateful.

Oh, we're much closer to deciding on his name. Actually, I believe it's official, but not really OFFICIAL until I tell Linda. So, we will wait on announcing his name.

So, my dear blog friends, on Tuesday morning at 7 AM, we will leave to pick up our son. We have a 2 1/2 - 3 hour drive each way, so it will make for a long, long day. But what a joyful day that will be!

I am a Mom, finally a MOM!!!!!!
I can say that already, right?

It's A Boy!

News Flash!

At 4:49 PM Thursday afternoon, our adoptive parent counselor called me at work.

After our brief "hello's", she said "This is the call you have been waiting for."

Yes, my friends, we got THE CALL.

Our precious, healthy, baby boy was born on Feb. 13, 2009.

He's a tiny little guy, weighing in at 5 lb., 12 oz.

We're picking him up on Tuesday.

I wept ... for an hour.

We have a son whom we will welcome into our arms in 5 days.

No, life doesn't get any sweeter.

Praise God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I <3 Facebook....

LOL ...

Yes, Blogger Friends, I <3> Facebook. If you're a member and we haven't connected, please let me know. I'd love to connect with you, too!

Happy Valentine's Day . . .

Time and time again, life seems to stop for a few brief moments, whether by a tragedy or a miracle, to remind us how fragile life really is. Thoughts of those we love and care about seem to flood our brains and make us wonder if we've shown them how much they mean to us. Perhaps I am feeling a bit emotional after the recent plane crash just a few miles from home. Perhaps it's an accumulation of a series of events I've experienced the past few years. Perhaps it's a whisper in my heart from God. Whatever it may be, I want to take the time to appreciate life and to know I've shown kindness and love to those around me. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

How could I be 44?

I've been busy!

I am breathing a sigh of relief today. Our day care license was good through today. The renewal process was long and tedious. But, we're in great shape and good to go for another two years. Just before "inspection day" we had a minor castastrophe caused by a pipe breaking on the floor above us. Damages weren't too bad. But it caught us at a time when things needed to be "perfect" for the inspector! As a result of the incident, we had to replace carpeting, repair damages to walls, replace ceiling tiles and replace toys we were unable to recover. When it rains, it pours . . .literally! ;)

No news to pass on regarding the adoption. Last I spoke to our worker she said things have picked up since December. A part of me wants to send our profile to the lawyer we spoke with and the other part doesn't want to set myself up for more disappointments. I guess I am guarding my heart from emotions. Not sure if that's a good or a bad thing?

Like everyone else around the country, we're experiencing a rough winter in WNY. I cannot believe how much snow we have! It's rather amazing. And..it just keeps coming!

My 44th birthday was yesterday! We started celebrating on Monday with my mother-in-law. Our birthdays are 4 days apart, so we celebrate together. I made a cake- not too impressive - but she loved it. Yesterday my staff put together a spread of good food! We had taco soup, Buffalo chicken wing dip, pasta salad, cheesecake, ice cream cake and puffed pastry! Last night my sister made her homemade sweet-n-sour chicken over brown rice and my other sister made some delightful cupcakes! They are so talented! We pulled out the Monopoly board and played 'til 2:00 AM. It had been years since I played, but it was just as fun as ever.

I promised myself I'd get some cleaning accomplished today, so I best stick to it.

Here are some photos of the cupcakes. Sorry they are a tad blurred, I took them with a cell phone.

The Shack

I finished reading "The Shack" this morning. Personally, I found it to be enlightening, thoughtprovoking...just incredible! There was sooo much to read and understand ... that I am going to start over and read it again. This time I am hoping to catch more of what I may not have understood or simply missed. I don't want to give way to the story line so I will just recommend it as a must read. I am glad I read it and can sincerely say it was life changing in the best way. My relationship with God will never be the same and I can assure it will do the same for you.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all of you in Bloggerland! It's been a bittersweet year for the T's, as you all know so well just from reading my blog, chatting, etc. As the year came to a close, I honestly stopped to think about our life in 2008 and the tears started to well. It was hard... I know there are others who face far more and I have, still, many blessing to count. I don't want to sounds selfish. But, I will not lie - it was the hardest of my 40 some years. That is not to say it will be my hardest year ever. BUT... it is ok. I've learned so much, I've grown, I appreciate life far more than before and I love life, yes I do. May the new year bring sweet surprises. May I continue to find appreciation for the little things. May my love for family and friends grow in leaps and bounds. May I continue to fall in love with BT over and over again. May I marvel in God's work. May my business grow as God uses me to touch such small lives. May I help someone far less fortunate. May I have good health. May our baby be places in our arms!

Cheers to 2009!

I also want to thank you for your wonderful and sweet replies to my last post! They meant a lot to me.

One thing I've always worked hard at is keeping my spirits up. Without God that would be impossible. So, truly it is He who gets the credit. But I am not perfect, I am just another sinner in an imperfect world. I have a long way to go. The amazing part is how I can try to work things out in my own ways but when the tough gets going, He is RIGHT THERE waiting. What better friend could we ask for than that?

So as we walk this path, often the path less chosen, may we walk with strength,endurance and character and when we stumble along the way may our good friends be there to pick us up and remind us it's ok to have a meltdown once in a while! Yes..it is.

Did you ever stop to think God must really love you because He called YOU to embark upon a journey that is "different" and "remarkable?" He knew you had what it would take and your love, strength, commitment, peace, faith, etc. would shine for others to see! I think that's pretty special! So, when you're down and out ..go ahead ... have a meltdown ..a big old meltdown.. it's God's way of recharging us and keeping our spirit alive for the best is yet to come!

I think so, anyhow.

PS Janet - So good to hear from you! What happened to your blog? I've missed you! :-)

Meltdown!

I am surprised I am posting this as I had decided not to. I didn't want to rehash the emotions. But as I read other blogs of "adoptive Mommies in waiting" I could feel their pain, understand their tears and realize it's ok to have a meltdown once in while! Why sweeten it up? It is what it is .. a very difficult and painful journey that will someday find a happy ending. But in the meantime, it just sucks.

Christmas was so hard for many of us. I know my emotions were running in many directions. BT was working Christmas Eve, I was home alone ...surrounded by last minute things to be done. I had a meltdown! Yes, I did. A MAJOR MELTDOWN. Tears, outbursts, you name it.

I was feeling sorry for myself. It's been an incredibly tough year. I've rolled with the punches and done what I needed to get through. I walked the halls of 5 hospitals and 3 rehab facilities night after night, often into late hours. I've seen my father go from a strong, solid man to a completely dependent nursing home patient. My mother's health has declined. And still is declining. Her heart simply isn't doing it's job. My business has felt the loss of my time and energy. My husband has often been cast aside. My closest friends have stood in the background. We had a few adoption situations, none of which placed a baby in our arms. I couldn't help but cry out, "What have I done so wrong?" And I wondered outloud "Why me, Lord?"

God couldn't give me the answers to my questions. It isn't for me to figure out. He did allow me to cleanse my soul, to let go of all those negative emotions. Now it is up to me to continue trusting Him with all my being, knowing He has the perfect plan and the perfect baby just for us! It isn't always easy to Let Go and Let God, but it's certainly something we all need to do. How much easier it will be to leave the worrying to God and enjoy my life the way it is right now! To take the time to recognize and savor the blessings all around us that are too often overlooked. This is truly all He asks of me.

In the meantime, my faith remains..unwavered. And, I am thankful for my meltdown (did I really say that?)

For those of you who are waiting, we share a common bond. Our feelings are real. We are entitled! God is good. Let Go! Trust Him. We'll be ok! Stick together. Cry when you want to! Laugh everyday. Dream! Pray. Call a friend! Hug someone! Make a difference in the world. And...Keep Looking Up! :-)

I'll do the same.

A Neat Story....

This is a neat little story I wanted to put in writing, just because you never know.

A few nights ago I was in bed, BT was working. It was very late and I should of been asleep. A thought came to me. We really haven't decided on baby names! I began to wonder what would happen if we got a call and didn't have a name picked out? When suddenly a name popped in my head (both first and middle). It's a name I never thought about and one I clearly glanced over when browsing baby name books. It's not on my list - but I fell in love with it! I shared this with Brian the next day - and he loves it! We've decided to keep the name a secret! Afterall, perhaps there is something behind what happened!

The next day, BT and I were shopping at Target. While browing the Christmas aisle, I thought about purchasing an angel ornament to hang and leave up until we get our baby. I didn't think it would be so hard to find a simple angel! Finally, I found one small, shiny, silver angel hanging alone. The odd thing is ... I didn't buy it. After holding it and pausing to think about where our little one might be, I hung it back on the shelf and walked away. The next day at work, I received a small package from a family at my center. Inside was the angel I had seen at Target! I couldn't believe it!

Maybe I am being silly, but I truly think these little messages provide hope... that our baby is coming and hope to get me through the holidays!

Just wanted to share.

C H R I S T mas

C H R I S T mas .....

We all (with the exception of my brother and his family) met at Mom's for brunch which included broccoli/cheese quiche, orange french toast, fresh fruit salad, Preacher Ham and lots of sweet goodies. We grew up on Preacher Ham from Mom's hometown Kentucky! We are so thankful they ship hams all over the US... and the service to great!

Our gift exchange was simplified...we drew names. BT and I received a certificate for a night in a Jacuzzi suite with dinner for two and breakfast for two at a new place in town called Salvatore's Grand. Of course, we can't wait to go! It will be a nice break after a very difficult year.

We visited Dad at the home but unfortunately he was wiped out... probably a result of pain meds. He doesn't remember us being there. OH!....BT and I found an awesome 15" digital photo frame! We're filling it with family pictures and setting it to run continuously in his room. He is going to LOVE it.

BT worked Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the day after. . and he's now working the weekened. We haven't had a chance to celebrate and our gifts to eachother remain unwrapped.

It's been very hard on me to accept his schedule. . always working weekends . . always working holidays. But as those of you in Buffalo already know, they've been letting on-air personalities go and even offered the union employees a buy-out. So, we're just thankful BT is still working and getting the hours. We're hoping and praying all the changes will give BT a better schedule for the new year.

Most importantly, the reason for this wonderful holiday remains the same and has not been forgotten. Christ loved us all enough to send his infant Son to the world; promising those of us who believe in Him eternal life! What better gift is there than that? And to think it was made possible through one tiny child.

Merry Christmas To All ....

And to ALL a good-night!

I am leaving you with just a glimpse of little ones at my center. Christmas truly is all about the children.... As it should be. Afterall, it all started because of one very small child.

Would anyone like to guess who the man is in the Red Suit? ;)