It's been a few days...

Just thinking, it wasn't meant to be.... again.

How many losses must we face to bring our baby home?

It's just not making sense.

Perhaps I need to sleep.

Keeping The Faith ... And Praying!

V EXCITING NEWS!!!!!!!


Although I could not decide if I should post this, I've decided there's really no harm in telling the story, so here goes.

Over the weekend, I announce to BT I need to give up on the adoption. The wait is just too hard and and is effecting me emotionally & physically. I suggested we start thinking of other interests, things to do with our lives. Please know my heart is breaking as I am telling him. But, I just wanted the ache to go away.

Then a few days later, I tell him I'd like to have a Puppy! I want something small, loveable and one that doesn't shed too much.

I upset my poor DH terribly. Bad enough he cried and asked me to please not give up!
He said, "I want a baby, I do not want a puppy!"

Then out of the clear blue sky, I get a phone call. It was someone I know professionally, but over the years we have become good friends. She knows someone who has a newborn and is seriously interested in making an adoption plan. She shared some of the details, of which I am not comfortable posting on a public blog. But anyhow, she told her all about us! She called to see if we are interested? Why sure we are! I gave her the OK to give them my phone number. My friend called me back again yesterday to say they are very interested in talking to us, but they asked for a few days. My friend really believes their decision is a very solid one.

I am trying not to get too excited, as we've been let down so many times before. But, the truth is I am very excited. It all sounds too good to be true!

I keep thinking about how just a day or so before I told my DH I needed to give up.
How many times I've heard when you're ready to give up, good things happen!
Could it be?

I also know I'll be ok if it doesnt work out. I'll know it was God's way of showing me I truly wasn't ready to give up!

KEEPING THE FAITH ....and PRAYING! Y

Butter Finger Ice Cream Sandwich Cake

I just thought I'd share a fun recipe! It's easy and so delicous!
Your friends will wonder how you did it.





Ice Cream Sandwich Cake

About 20 ice cream sandwiches
1 20 oz. container Cool Whip
1/2 jar caramel topping
chocolate sauce
2 Butterfinger Bars-crushed

Layer the bottom of a 9x13 baking dish with 10 ice cream sandwiches and cut any to fit. Layer about 1/2 jar of caramel sauce over the sandwiches. Layer 1/2 the container of Cool Whip. Sprinkle one crushed Butterfinger on the Cool Whip. Layer more ice cream sandwiches to fit. Cover them with the chocolate sauce. Layer the rest of the Cool Whip. Top with the other crushed Butterfinger Bar. You can top with additional sauce if you would like. Cover and freeze until firm.

I've also made it without the caramel and chocolate sauces - another delicious, yet not so sweet, treat!

No Act of Kindness, No Matter How Small, Is Ever Wasted

Kindness: –noun 1. the state or quality of being kind 2. a kind act; favor: his many kindnesses to me. 3. kind behavior: I will never forget your kindness. 4. friendly feeling; liking...

I received a special package in the mail today. One of my blog friends, Debbie, sent me a Pooh outfit her beautiful daughter Isabel had outgrown. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness.

Thank you, Debbie, for being so thoughtful, your kindness will not soon be forgotten.

We Won A Gourmet Lunch!

Recently, I entered a contest on a local radio station website. The contest was for an "Office Break". The prize was food and dessert from a gourmet bakery. All I had to do to enter was tell them why our office deserves a break! I don't remember what I wrote, but it must have been good, because we WON!

Wednesday at noon, the Morning Show Host delivered lunch and dessert to me and my employees! The photo is of the morning show host and a few of our providers.

So fun!

Cuteness!

As I looked around the nursery recently, I realized there is a lot of cuteness going on. So I decided to get "up close and personal" with the camera. I'll start by sharing "The Silly Ole' Bear" accessories. I think Pooh is grand! Can you tell ?

I bought the Classic Pooh Switch Plate many years ago, kept it stored in my "hope chest".


Photo Holder!









This print will hang on the wall above the crib.
It was a gift from one of my employees.









These are already hanging on the wall
as you walk in the room.












The many faces of Pooh! Mostly gifts
we received throughout the wait. Now you know
what I've been doing with my time - collecting Pooh Bears!
There can never be too much Pooh!










Classic Pooh Shape Sorter we picked up on one
of our many T A R G E T excursions.












This Baby Pooh is very special!
It was a Christmas gift for baby from my Dad.
He bought it after we announced we were adopting.
The denim hat was a gift from my sister!













An "up-close" view of the window treatments.
Somewhere on this blog you can see the whole window!












Handprint/Footprint Frames
Another great buy from T A R G E T!












Lamp/Bookends/Pooh Books
I had the bookends in my room when I
still lived at home with Mom and Dad.











Classic Pooh Night Light....
A gift from Uncle Jonathan and family!












More Pooh ................




















And ..... plenty of Pooh Banks for College Fund! ;)

Turning 40 is fun!

When I turned 40, my dear friend, Tracey, made a sign so everyone in town was sure to know I had reached the BIG 40. Notice how she worded the sign, hoping to throw me off - thinking I wouldn't suspect her. I stored that sign for 3 years, knowing someday I would be given the opportunity to pay back the favor.

Recently, Tracey, turned 40. I was sure to replace the verbage on the sign. BT drove 60 miles to place it on her lawn! It didn't take her long to figure it out.

Turning 40 is fun! But good friends are even more fun! :-)

PS If you click on the sign you can see the details of all the little critters much better!

Ordinary Miracle

I am so pleased! The song "Ordinary Miracle" keeps running through my head. Particularly the part that says "It seems so exceptional, That things just work out after all, It's just another ordinary miracle today".

It's been a very long week. Dad was admitted to ICU after a long ER visit. The infection spread to his blood stream and quite possibly bone. He has tested positive to M*R*S*A and C*Dif. Things were NOT looking good. We were actually given the impression he was not going to come out of it. I won't go into the details of how horribly depressing it's been. I will say we were preparing for Dad to pass in the very near future. One day he came to and had an emotional breakdown. He cried so hard, he was giving up the fight and wanted us to all know he loved us.
I didn't know my heart could hurt so bad.

BUT... he has since advanced to the "ICU Step Down Unit" ... and we're seeing improvement.

It was not only a shock to us, but to the hospital staff as well. He's alert, talking, even asking for ice cream (now that's my Dad)! I fed him apple juice yesterday. Although I had use a stick with a small sponge at the end, he managed to take about 2 ounces.

Mom and I met with Dr. B yesterday afternoon. Mom needed to make a decision regarding surgery. Option 1: NO surgery. The bed sore would not go away (ever), eventually it would cause complications leading to death. Option 2: Proceed with surgery to debrine the bed sore. There are some risks. Healing process would be very slow, and could take up to 6 months (or more). He would return to rehab. Mom is opting for surgery. I imagine it will be soon, as they called today for consent.

He is showing minor irregularities in his heart rhythm, therefore they are keeping a close eye on that. He is still testing positive to M*R*S*A and C*Dif. Still very confused, however we see very small indications that may be getting better. Dr. B does not feel his cognitive problems are permanent. I continue to prayer he is correct. And I continue to be thankful for God's continued intervention.

A few short days ago, Dad was on the brink of death. I can't explain how it felt to walk in the room, expecting the worst and instead have him turn his head, look at me and start talking- WHO CARES IF HE MADE ANY SENSE! ;-) To see nurses who cared for him during the darkest hours come to his room just to see it for themselves is yet another gentle reminder how God works.

Dad is not out of the woods. The surgery itself presents some risks. The next several days will determine so much more. But I can tell you there is a difference. And for that, we are so grateful.

GOD IS AWESOME!

Click below to view the video "Ordinary Miracle":

Ordinary Miracle

Yesterday ..

Yesterday was a rough day for my Dad. The nursing home called at 11 AM to tell us he needed to go to the hospital. He was in the ER until 2 AM when a bed opened up. He is in ICU with an infection known as SEPlS (one of the greatest dangers of an advanced pressure sore, this occurs when bacteria from a massive infection enter your bloodstream and spread throughout your body — a rapidly progressing, life-threatening condition that can cause shock and organ failure.). He has high fever, pain and very low blood pressure. Today, he will be seen by a surgeon, skin care team and someone from infection control. Hopefully we will have news later on.

A Special Coffee Treat

I recieved an e-mail indicating I may be eligible for a free S E N S E O coffee machine. I already own one and love it! But, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get one for my office at work. All I had to do was take a very brief survey and agree to pay shipping. I did and soon found out I was eligible!

Today, my package arrived, just as promised. How nice it was to unwind with a delicious cup of S E N S E O coffee tonight (decaf, of course) complete with Vanilla Carmel Creamer. Yum!

Dad

Dad isn't doing too great today. He has fever, isn't talking, isn't eating, etc.
It makes my heart ache. And, I feel afraid.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Don't Worry, Be Happy! :-)

This has to be one the my favorites! I love it!
Don't Worry Be Happy Bobby Mc Ferrin [ Smile ] - The funniest home videos are here


Don't Worry, Be Happy!
Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy.
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy now.

*Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy.

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy.
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy.

*(Look at me -- I'm happy. Don't worry, be happy. Here I give you my phone number. When you worry, call me, I make you happy. Don't worry, be happy.)

Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
Don't worry, be happy.
'Cause when you worry your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
Don't worry, be happy.

*(Don't worry, don't worry, don't do it. Be happy. Put a smile on your face. Don't bring everybody down. Don't worry. It will soon pass, whatever it is. Don't worry, be happy. I'm not worried, I'm happy... )

I've been tagged

Tagged by Camille (Adventures in Mommyland) .

Four Jobs I've had:

1. Child Day Care Administrator
2. Preschool Teacher
3.
4.

Four Movies I've watched more then once:

1. Grease
2. Sleepless in Seattle
3. Gone with the Wind
4. Thornbirds

Four Places I Have Lived:

1. D E P E W ~ NY
2. L A N C A S T E R ~ NY
3.
4.

Four TV Show I watch:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Brother's & Sisters
3. October Road which is canceled next season :(
4. Private Practice

Four Places I've been:

1. FLORIDA
2. KENTUCKY
3. BOSTON MA
4. CANADA

Four People Who Email Me Regularly:

1. Tracey
2 Carmel
3.
4. Cassandra

Four of My Favorite Foods:

1. GREEK
2. ITALIAN
3. MEXICAN
4. AMERICAN

Four Places I'd Like to Visit

1. Ireland
2. Denver
3. Georgia
4. California

Four Things I'm Looking Forward to This Year:

1. Bringing home our baby!
2. Holding our baby!
3. Going to KY!
4. Vacation!

Four People I Tag:

1. Debbie B
2. Colette
3. Sue
4. Annie

Thank you!

To everyone who has been so kind to check in on my Dad, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Our family sees an improvement but the medical community isn't saying anything. Go figure. They are still weaning him off the meds, it's a very slow process. But, the last couple days I have definitely felt there was a "tiny" improvement with each day. He's still unable to do just about anything, but he is calmer, less upset, less confusion, etc. I printed out some family photos tonight. I am going to "perk up" his room this weekend. I think he's ready for it! Thank you for asking - and thank you all for your continued prayers. We are all hanging in there. At times my faith is certainly tested. But, ultimately I know God is in control and I need to leave it in His hands. I just miss my Dad the way I knew him ..... that makes me very sad. I am going to share a few photos. They were both taken within the past year, before he got so sick.

Summer Storm -

We had interesting weather today. I was working, not paying much attention. In my mind it was a typical, hot summer day. All the sudden I hear pelting on the windows. I look out and can not believe the hail that's coming down. They were huge, some as large as golfballs. It was scary -but when it ended we enjoyed a gorgeous rainbow. I love rainbows!!!

BT took this photo of a hail ball from our yard. We saw even larger ones on the evening news.

Happy Father's Day

"Stand and see this great thing which the Lord will do before your eyes. 1 Samuel 12:16"

Sad :(

My heart was sad today.

I spoke to our social worker.

The young lady she called us about still had not made a decision. They showed her every profile they have - and nothing.

My heart breaks for her. To be 14, pregnant and feel so alone. She doesn't want to place her baby. But, the family member who takes care of her does not support her decision to keep the baby.

I'll say a special prayer for her tonight.

And I feel sad because Father's Day is Sunday - and BT will be reminded of yet another year he is not a Dad.

I'll say a little prayer for us today, too - that parenthood will come along real soon.

Our profile was shown to a birthmother this week. However, we were not chosen.

The agency is still working with the other birthmother and will proceed with it.
This is the one we were "highly favored" for, but the birthmother was unable to commit. She is very, very young, and she wants to keep her baby. However, she has no family support. It's sad ... very sad.

In other news, she told me our profile has been very well received with great feedback.


Dad is showing little bits of improvement with each day. He's certainly not out of the woods and has a long road ahead of him.

Do you ever wish you could look into the future? It's during times like these I wish I knew what lies ahead. But, then I am reminded God has the perfect plan and we need to trust Him and know He will take care of us.

Quick Up-Date Dad & Adoption

Dad appeared to be a bit better today. When he seizured they told us it could be 48+ hours before he begins to come around. I guess he is right on target!

He was a tad grumpy and aggitated. But, we rejoiced in hearing his voice (although only a few words). It brought hope!

All the tests have come back negative with the exception an x-ray showed a small amount of fluid on his lung. It was caused from the rib being removed during surgery. Apparently this is not uncommon.

The doctor has finally agreed to our request to wean him off the Parkinson's Medication!
This has been a huge concern (after much research, of course), yet our requests have fallen on deaf ears.

He is, by no means, out of the woods. But, seeing him try to move, talk and open his eyes was a wonderful thing.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Our agency called this morning.

Our profile was HIGHLY FAVORED by the birthmom and her family. After 5 hours of talking and going over profiles she was unable to make a decision. She is very, very young and struggling as she wants to keep her baby. She has no family support, her options are limited. My heart goes out to her, it really does. I am praying for her and the baby. We may and may not hear more from this situation.

Our profile is also being shown to another birthmom this week. I do not have details, except that our agency is going to present us - and I know she is due in August.

On that note, I am off to bed! Good-night all!

Up-Date On Dad

We had a very rough day yesterday. Dad seizured and they couldn't get him out of it. They took him to the ER by ambulance. We stayed right there with him, but it was hard to tell if he knew we were there. He was so out of it. It was the longest 12 hours of my life. We finally came home late last night.... which was so hard to do (especially for my Mom, but with her health issues, we knew she needed to get rest).

They came to take him up to his room, so we decided to grab some coffee in the cafeteria. We were all in the cafeteria talking to our Pastor when we heard "Rapid Response Team, 5th Floor" over the PA. I had a gut feeling and went up to his room. The call was for my Dad, he had briefly stopped breathing and they could not get him to respond. So, he's on a CPAP machine now - and has settled down substantially.

We had to discuss Dads wishes, in the event he would stop breathing again or his heart would stop. My poor Mother, I feel so bad for her having to make such decisions. She cried so hard, just fell apart. Her heart is broken.

They did a CTScan of his brain, which came back negative. So, today, the neurologist ordered a few tests, including a brain MRI. We are supposed to hear something from the doctor this afternoon.

Again, they brough up the "questionable Parkinson's Disease diagnosis", thinking perhaps there is something going on they have been unable to detect. Noone should have to suffer so. And, not knowing why makes it even harder. The hardest part of all is when he is yelling out for help - and we can't help him.