Friday, August 17, 2007

Today -

I held and rocked a newborn baby girl today. I was in heaven! She must have been a preemie; at 2 months old she is all of 10 pounds, so tiny, so petite, so beautiful. As I sat in the nursery and rocked her I felt sad. I felt sad for her and I felt sad for her Mommy. Mommy seems fine. She's easy going, says the baby is low maintenance and goes to work with a smile on her face. Baby is also fine, she doesn't know any better. She cuddled and relaxed with me, perfectly content. But, she isn't cuddling with her Mommy and Mommy is missing these wonderful moments.

One of the little school-age girls has attached herself to me. She held my hand for the longest time, making sure I wasn't going to get away from her. She jumped in my lap and told me she wanted to go home with me and eat dinner and have ice cream. We talked about the field trip from the previous week and how she got to walk around with me. I reminded her of the good time we had and how much she "loved it". She giggled and said, " I didn't love it, I loved being with you". Coming from an unstable home environment, she is starved for motherly affection and is looking for that in me. My heart was broke.

I met with a grandmother today, while her priceless grandchildren played. They come to day care, 5 days a week. Not too long ago, the state took them from their mother and placed them in protective care. Several family members tried to get them, but grandmother was the only one who passed the criminal background check. In her late 50's and widowed, she's raising them, alone. She loves them, they are properly cared for, clean and their needs are met. But, even grandma complains that it's too much for her. She referred to her son AND the children's parents as "scum of the earth".

I wrote a letter today, to a young, single mom who has not been paying her bill. If she doesn't pay her bill, we cannot continue to offer services. She's a hard worker, trying to make ends meets and raise her son alone. There is no one to call "Dad". When she found out she was expecting she made an adoption plan through Catholic Charities. But, when her baby was born, she couldn't let go.

I spoke to a silly two-year old today about our friends and how we need to call them by their real name. He's into "name calling". He has a different name for each child in the class, even some for the teachers. He called me "piggy". ;) Another teacher was called "coconut head".

I came home feeling sad for the children. Then I began to wonder if I am using my God given talents to the fullest degree. Am I making a difference in the lives of these children? I need to do some "thinking".......

I have been given the opportunity to touch so many hearts. God has been so good. My center is a blessing and a gift from Him. For that, I am thankful.

6 comments:

BlessedWithDaughters said...

It's a broken world, my dear. I'm sad along with you, reading these stories.

It's very admirable that you are doing a "self check" to see if you are doing all you can to make a difference and to be used as God would use you. I'll pray that for you, too.

Happy said...

Pep, you have a warm heart and a loving soul. If I was in your shoes I don't know that I could be as generous (since you have been trying to start a family for a while). I find that I am in awe.

You ARE making a difference in the mixed up disruptive lives of these children...you are a constant.

Kathy's Korner said...

You are making a tremendous difference. It is a sad world when day care, is the BEST part of a child world. Don't get me wrong, what you do is wonderful, if you didn't where would the kids' in these stories be?? But should it be the BEST part of a child's life? Not ideally. Keep doing what you are doing. You may never get to see the results of what you do, but the good you instill in these kiddos will always be there.

Patti said...

Awww thanks ladies. I am striving to make a difference and that's what makes my heart glad.

I should mention the majority of our children are from happy, healthy homes! Day care is definitely not the "best" part of their lives - but I can say it's a "healthy" part of their lives. (Now I am speaking of my center, I can not speak for all the others). :-) It's the others that make me sad. :-(

Thanks for the support.

petunia said...

This made me cry. I cried for those kids and for the parents who don;t know how wonderful it is to have those kids. The children will grow up just like them except for people like you--- you are planting seeds and may never know the crop that comes in - keep pluggin away!

Kathy said...

The other ladies said everything perfectly!

The stories made me cry too. I kept looking at the pictures of Jesus with the little children, that you have on your side bar, and thought how much He loves the little children...and how sad He must be at the situations that many of them are in. I know sometimes it's so hard to understand how bad things can happen to little, innocent children...it comes down to choices and accountability, but it's still hard to deal with.

The song "Angels Among Us", by Alabama, just came to my mind... and that you are one of the Angels that touch these little children's lives. You ARE making a difference, and it seems that these little one's are making a difference in your life too.

As you are soul searching, maybe you will be inspired to do other things too...in addition to what you already do.

You are a kind, sweet spirit and I'm so glad to "know" you!

(((HUGS)))